8 Alterations Every Petrolhead Would Make To 50 Shades Of Grey

1. Swap Christian Grey to someone we can actually respect

2. Add some lubricants that last more than five minutes

3. Replace symbols of love with something that makes our 'heart' rev faster

4. Introduce handcuffs you'll never break free from

5. Ditch leather for a material that is truly close to our hearts

6. Pay more attention to health and safety with extra durable blindfolds

7. Let Dakota Johnson play a character we all want to see more of

8. Refurbish the domination chamber to a place of true love and satisfaction

Any other alterations you’d like to see? Let us know in the comments!