The Audi RS6 Is Pointlessly Fast, But I Couldn't Help But Fall In Love With It

There is something inherently cool about taking a large estate and bunging a massive engine under the bonnet. The Audi RS6 is the absolute epitome of this fantastic ethos, packing a turbocharged 4.0-litre V8 that makes a dizzying 552bhp (and you can now get a Performance variant that ups this to 597bhp). 516lb ft of torque is shifted through all four wheels, culminating in a claimed 0-62mph time of 3.9 seconds. In an estate.

The first time I experienced an Audi RS6’s punch was a couple of years ago, during a brief drive at an Audi range review day (basically a day in which all their models are available to drive at one location, and journalists fight over the keys to the cool stuff). It was the first car that genuinely frightened me. When you climb into, say, an R8, the cockpit is focused and enclosed, and you instantly know that you’re about to get up to some high speed shenanigans. In the RS6, you shuffle into the massive seat, check out the expansive dashboard and realise that the passenger side is so far away you need binoculars to check your blind spot.

Then you plant your foot and everything you thought you knew about big luxury cars is left 100 feet behind you, along with your stomach. It’s the sheer violence of the car’s acceleration that bewilders; something this big shouldn’t be able to pummel you into your seat back like this thing can. It just completely screws with your mind when you’re surrounded by so much space and luxury while travelling at warp speed.

Then there’s the corners. I know you want me to say that despite its large overhangs and all that high-spec luxury weighing it down, it feels light and nimble when you throw it into a bend. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but it handles exactly like you expect: phenomenal levels of grip powering out of a turn, but it just can’t hide its size and high centre of gravity on the turn in.

But that’s not the way to get the most out of the RS6, and it’s here that I had to do a little soul searching as to whether or not this car is a wonderful idea that’s totally pointless in application. You see, the way to make the most of the RS6 is to only allow your inner-child to take over whenever there’s a straight line ahead of you. For example, pulling away from traffic lights in a truly obnoxious manner, or when overtaking a dawdling old couple doing 10 under the limit.

The latter is my favourite, as you only need a short stretch of tarmac to complete the move; keep your eyes trained on the road ahead, pull the wheel to one side, plant your foot, and unleash an unholy roar from the exhaust before pulling in front of your ‘prey’ without breaking a sweat.

The problem is, you reach the kind of speed that’ll make a police officer read you your rights so quickly that the thrill is fleeting. In my recent test of the new R8, which has 602bhp in V10 Plus flavour, I became a little frustrated that once the twisty tarmac unravelled itself, the car’s top speed was merely tallied to how much faith you had that a cop wouldn’t be up ahead; i.e. not very high, given the French police’s fondness for on-the-spot fines. Still, at least in the R8 you had the physics defying cornering to make up for the fact all that power was wasted most of the time, so what does its estate sibling have to fall back on?

Not a lot, to be honest. I know there are people for whom straight line performance is vital, but for me the novelty wears off quite quickly; the fun is in the corners. So you might be surprised to hear that I completely and utterly fell in love with the Audi RS6.

Why? Well, once you get past the fact it accelerates so hard it messes with the circulation in your legs and leaves a light tingling below the waist, simply knowing that kind of accelerative force is on hand at all times - all the while having the storage capacity of a small house - is like having a bundle of pure joy permanently at your disposal.

So the way to make the most of the RS6? Drive it like any other car the vast majority of the time, allowing the mere knowledge that you can burn off anyone who might be in your vicinity to bubble just under the surface. Then, when the mood takes you, hammer the right pedal and allow those few seconds to consume you. Then there’s the smug satisfaction that comes from using only part throttle and still leaving everyone in your exhaust fumes.

So the next time someone tells you that this sort of car is pointless, tell them that yes, these cars are pointless, but that’s what makes them so bloody fantastic.