These Five-Litre-Plus Bargain Beasts Will Have You Reaching For Your Wallet

These days, no one wants big, thirsty cars. The tide has very much turned against the prestige cars of yesteryear, and values of cars with epic-sized engines have dropped like dog-eggs from the backside of the industry.

When we sat down and looked at the kind of five-litres-plus metal you, good CTzens, can buy right now, all for affordable money, we basically lost half a day to fish-mouthed browsing followed by another half a day clutching at excuses not to pick up the phone and place deposits right then and there. Not to mention at least an hour of looking at personal loan interest rates…

We hope you enjoy this list of jaw-droppers as much as we did.

Mercedes-Benz S500

Wait, what? A W220-era S-Class with a silky 5.0-litre V8, galactic-scale comfort thanks to self-levelling and electronically-controlled air suspension, and a road tax bill limited to £245, all for a ludicrous £995? Pinch us!

Alright, so this S500 is badly filthy inside and the tailgate is shipwreck-rusty, but with a few hundred notes spent this rough diamond could be polished into a dazzling gem. It’s covered 143,000 miles – nothing for that engine – and it claims to have a full 12-stamp service history and even nine months of MOT. Seriously, why aren’t you buying this right now?

Mercedes-Benz CL600

We should explain that the cheap, massive-motored end of the market is dominated by Mercedes. There are so many to choose from that you can easily spend several hours just browsing. This is our next pick; a CL600 with – wait for it – a normally-aspirated but creamy and laid-back 5.8-litre V12 with 363bhp. Hell. Yes.

This 155mph gentleman’s rocket, of which only 2200 or so were built, looks fabulous, and this particular one is a pulse-racing bargain because the Active Body Control warning light is lit on the dashboard. Ignore that, and you have a mighty GT with parking sensors at both ends, cruise control, an electric sunroof, electric memory seats, sat-nav and, of course, full leather upholstery. It’s stacked with kit. You get 12 months AA breakdown cover, and you might need it, but at £2995 for this sub-83,000-miler, why wouldn’t you?

Volkswagen Touareg TDI V10

Want to tow something? Anything? All the things? At once? Here’s your car. Check out the near-flawless leather seats, the wood veneer, the electric smorgasbord and even towbar preparation. There’s sat-nav, dual-zone climate control and push-button start, air suspension, adjustable ride height, heated seats and much, much more.

For just £4490 you get an under-stressed 5.0-litre V10-engined go-anywhere powerhouse in very good condition. It’s covered 120,000 miles, which, as with the Mercedes models above, is barely worth a shrug. Looked after, this engine should run and run. What a way to announce yourself as king of the car park, and to own possibly the only SUV ever made (apart from the Lamborghini LM002) that really is a bit special.

BMW 750Li

Want to really impress the in-laws? Rock up in this, the long-wheelbase version of the 4.8-litre (okay, we cheated our own rules, but can you blame us?) V8-powered BMW 750. Good for a 5.9-second 0-62mph sprint, it’s yet another option with air springs for maximum comfort.

This £4880 one is just 10 years old, with sat-nav, leather, TV reception for rear passengers, electric everything, decent tyres, massive legroom and suspension to sooth even the most critical of back-seat passengers. Xenon headlights, a big boot and a sunroof, if the multi-zone climate control isn’t enough, are more reasons why this is a ridiculous bargain. The only gripe is road tax, which is a meaty £535.

Chrysler 300C 5.7 Hemi

For the lady or gent who dares to be different, how about this brawny Yank tank with 5654cc of Hemi V8 and very European cylinder deactivation? You get bags of character, 340 horsepower and a limited 155mph top speed. Nought to 62 comes up in 6.4 seconds, if you’ve got the traction. The price for this grey leather-lined muscle car in drag, from a private seller, is just £4950.

Coming from an 84-year-old former chauffeur as its current owner, this 94,000-mile 300C will sound absolutely brilliant at full chat. Plus, it has the luxuries you’d expect, like sat-nav, the top-level stereo upgrade, an aftermarket reversing camera, a tracking device, DVD player with screens in the rear headrests and even factory headphones to go with them. A big file of receipts and service history plus 12 months MOT come with it. There really is nothing not to love.