The Vauxhall Corsa VXR Is The Angriest Small Hot Hatch Out There, But It's Not The One That Steals My Heart

There are three words that must feel like a thorn in the side of anyone who produces a small hot hatchback these days. Three words that refer to a fearsome benchmark seemingly no one can break. Three words that spell doom. The words in question? Ford, Fiesta, and ST.

OK, so the last word is, technically, a couple of letters, but if you pay any attention to the world’s motoring press, you’ll know what I mean. Arguably, it’s pound-for-pound the best performance car out there; a car whose involving drive and sense of handling rightness sees anyone who gets behind the wheel fall instantly in love.

Plenty have tried to take it on, and failed. The Renaultsport Clio is undone by its dual-clutch gearbox, the Peugeot 208 GTI isn’t sharp enough, and the more expensive Mini Cooper S too underwhelming and surprisingly joyless. However, Vauxhall has now stepped up to the plate with its latest VXR Corsa, which’ll set you back £17,995, around the same as the Ford. These VXR’d Griffins (badged OPC on Opels outside of the UK) tend to be raucous little things, so how does this latest one fare?

It’s a decent looking-thing, with neat proportions and just the right amount of aggressiveness to show people you’ve splashed out on the range-topper. The 18-inch two-tone alloy wheels and socking great boot spoiler are particular highlights. The triangular exhaust outlet is gone unfortunately, but the pair of conventional pipes that replace it look nice and purposeful.

All Corsas before this generation have been a little on the bargain basement side, but that’s not the case this time. The first thing to greet you when you open the door is a set of superb high-backed Recaro seats, and - believe it or not - they’re not a pricey option; they’re fitted as standard. The dashboard is a neat and simple affair that seems decently screwed together, although I’m not a fan of the lashings of shiny black plastic that’ll end up scratched to hell within a few thousand miles. Interestingly, there are surprisingly few references to this being a VXR; it’s like the opposite of an Affalterbach-built Mercedes, where the interior is typically machine-gunned with AMG badges.

So far, so civilised, but the moment you set off, you start to get the sense that this car is intended to be a an uncompromising little blighter. Why, you ask? Because the ride is very hard. You don’t so much drive over road imperfections and speed bumps as smash into them. Complaining about the ride seems pointless, though. It’s like watching an action film and grumbling that Jason Statham has punched too many people in the face. This is a VXR and you should expect something hard; it’s not supposed to be cuddly. And that ride makes a little more sense when you go into attack mode, and appreciate the chassis’ stiffness.

The turn-in is nicely sharp and body control very tidy, while the steering is almost ludicrously quick. It’s unnervingly light too, which I’m not so sure about, although it’s something I was beginning to get used to before handing back the keys. Surprisingly, torque steer - a former Corsa VXR Achilles heel - isn’t much of an issue.

Adding to the VXR’s unapologetically angry ethos is the 202bhp, 206lb ft 1.6-litre turbocharged engine: it may peter out a bit in terms of noise and poke at the top end, but it’s pleasingly boosty in the mid range. It even sounds nice and growly at certain revs, although more volume would be nice. And it’s certainly quick: 0-60mph takes 6.5 seconds, and it’ll top out at 143mph.

What really gets the nod of approval, though, is the six-speed manual gearbox. The lever is large and oddly shaped, but the shift is a ruddy sweet one, with just the right amount of heft and a short, precise throw. We like.

All this comes together to make the little VXR the most aggressive small hot hatch out there, but, to really shine, it does need the £2400 Performance Pack. Sounds a lot, but with this you get beefier Brembo brakes, those 18-inch wheels (a cost option, otherwise), reworked versions of the standard car’s Koni dampers and - most importantly - a Drexler mechanical limited-slip differential. We tried a Corsa VXR with this pack earlier in the year, and while the differential does muck up the predictability of the steering a little, the changes transform the car. It makes it much more of an experience to drive, and really livens up the front end as that diff drags you out of each corner.

However, even though I’d consider one - particularly with the Performance Pack - over the flawed Renault and the too-soft Peugeot the Vauxhall’s still not the one to have. And it would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that pesky Fiesta. Yep, I’m going to have to shove the Ford back into the equation, because the Vauxhall just isn’t as poised or as feelsome, and doesn’t have that same sense of joy in the way if drives. It’s angry and ruthlessly uncompromising which - as with previous Corsa VXRs - will no doubt win plenty of people over. But for me, that’s just not quite enough.