10 Horrifically Ironic Car Names
1. Suzuki Esteem
‘Esteem’? Really?
2. Kia Pride
Kias are great cars these days, but this box of misery from the 90s isn’t something you’d take ‘Pride’ in.
3. Suzuki Swift
Yes, I know there have been fast Suzuki Swifts - you can still buy the Swift Sport, and the older Cultus-related Swifts even had GTI editions - but most are really, really slow. Does 0-60mph in 17.4 seconds sound ‘Swift’ to you?
4. Skoda Rapid
On a similar theme to the Swift, we have the Rapid from Skoda. And with the post powerful putting out a mere 120bhp from a 1.4-litre engine, ‘rapid’ it ain’t. Then there’s the old Rapid, which manages to puff out just 54bhp from its carbureted 1.3-litre engine.
5. Oldsmobile Achieva
As so well put by CTzen CLShifter, this car “achieved nothing bar accelerating the death of Oldsmobile.”
6. Daewoo Racer
The Daewoo Racer is the ironic gift that keeps on giving. It’s another name occasionally given for the ambitiously titled Daewoo ‘Le Mans’, a car which was sometimes called the ‘Heaven’. If this is what heaven looks like, sign me up to hell right now.
OK, so this one’s a brand name and not a model, but still: ‘Brilliance’ was not a word that came to mind when watching the BS6 fold like paper during this 2007 crash test.
8. Mitsubishi Carisma
I genuinely can’t think of a car with less charisma than this.
9. Mini Countryman
The Mini brand as a whole got a lot of mentions on our original community question, but since the whole supermini sector it’s aiming for has gotten rather bloated (just compare a first-gen Ford Fiesta with the current one and you’ll see what I mean), we aren’t going to call the BMW subsidiary out for its mildly ironic use of the word ‘mini’.
However, where it is stretched too far (figuratively and literally) is when the name Mini is applied to the definitely not mini Countryman. And just look at it. Not exactly an oil painting, is it?
10. Hyundai Excel
Here’s a car that doesn’t excel at anything. Other than being dull.
Any more you can think of? Get to the comments!
Growing up on a diet of World Rally Championship highlights and lengthy Gran Turismo 2 sessions, a life in cars was as good as inevitable for Matt.
Comments
My response:
In other markets it was called the Baleno in Europe and Cultus Crescent in Japan
It’s something I woul take ‘Pride’ on.
Don’t take words seriously
I’m warning you…
Okay I’ll accept that
The 1st gen Daewoo Racer was copied off the Opel Kadett E but Daewoo Cielo was better IMO
Chinese cars never performed well in EuroNCAP crash tests, it literally is ironic.
This car has more charisma in Poland, I mean it served it’s time in the Policja in the ‘90s
Bloated but only on the rear, Mini is just a name it’s not irony.
The only thing Hyundai exceled at on this car is copying off of Daewoo’s Nexia
Not a car, but I present to you….
The mighty NSU Quickly
Once upon a time, the name “Oldsmobile” seemed like a good idea.
And the old Skoda Favorit!
Daily, really smal thing to park for daily…
Esteem… But they called it ‘Baleno’ in my country 😂
This name is not ironic at all. Quoting Van den Acker, Renault designer: “The Laguna II was a disaster in reliability, making owners move away from the Laguna when the III came. It was a decently reliable car but nobody trusted the Laguna name anymore. For that reason, the Laguna’s successor needs to have a name that implies you CAN trust it. Beyond that, it protects you. Like a lucky amulet. Like a Talisman.”
The countryman is pretty much the only Mini that I think looks good(ish)
Excel is a good name, you know that the person drives it spend his working life on microsoft excel
Brilliance BS6
the bs6 stands for bullshit 6th version