10 Horrifically Ironic Car Names
1. Suzuki Esteem
‘Esteem’? Really?
2. Kia Pride
Kias are great cars these days, but this box of misery from the 90s isn’t something you’d take ‘Pride’ in.
3. Suzuki Swift
Yes, I know there have been fast Suzuki Swifts - you can still buy the Swift Sport, and the older Cultus-related Swifts even had GTI editions - but most are really, really slow. Does 0-60mph in 17.4 seconds sound ‘Swift’ to you?
4. Skoda Rapid
On a similar theme to the Swift, we have the Rapid from Skoda. And with the post powerful putting out a mere 120bhp from a 1.4-litre engine, ‘rapid’ it ain’t. Then there’s the old Rapid, which manages to puff out just 54bhp from its carbureted 1.3-litre engine.
5. Oldsmobile Achieva
As so well put by CTzen CLShifter, this car “achieved nothing bar accelerating the death of Oldsmobile.”
6. Daewoo Racer
The Daewoo Racer is the ironic gift that keeps on giving. It’s another name occasionally given for the ambitiously titled Daewoo ‘Le Mans’, a car which was sometimes called the ‘Heaven’. If this is what heaven looks like, sign me up to hell right now.
OK, so this one’s a brand name and not a model, but still: ‘Brilliance’ was not a word that came to mind when watching the BS6 fold like paper during this 2007 crash test.
8. Mitsubishi Carisma
I genuinely can’t think of a car with less charisma than this.
9. Mini Countryman
The Mini brand as a whole got a lot of mentions on our original community question, but since the whole supermini sector it’s aiming for has gotten rather bloated (just compare a first-gen Ford Fiesta with the current one and you’ll see what I mean), we aren’t going to call the BMW subsidiary out for its mildly ironic use of the word ‘mini’.
However, where it is stretched too far (figuratively and literally) is when the name Mini is applied to the definitely not mini Countryman. And just look at it. Not exactly an oil painting, is it?
10. Hyundai Excel
Here’s a car that doesn’t excel at anything. Other than being dull.
Any more you can think of? Get to the comments!
Growing up on a diet of World Rally Championship highlights and lengthy Gran Turismo 2 sessions, a life in cars was as good as inevitable for Matt.
Comments
Rapid? Really? You guys should read something about the original old Škoda [shkoda] Rapid… It was one of the best cars we were allowed to produce during communism era in middle europe. Yes, it was “rapid” in comparison to other cars from that time made in that area! And about that engine… Old one was the biggest engine, we were again allowed to build in Czechoslovakia… The new one is restricted by EU so same story, just different people.
Hope it’s clear to you, why it’s called like that. Yup, Škoda was originally Czech brand before VW bought it :)
Opel Corsa (from italian corsa=race)
The Ford EcoSport. Not Eco due to being a “crossover” nor sporty for the same reason…
What about Porsche “9/11”
Nahhhhhh
It’s one of those names that was good then became bad
Just like the sti
what about the ford probe? i mean seriously have a car named after something aliens can put in you?
I bet the hyundai excel can do my office works
Alpha Romeo Gloria
i dont think the swift would be a dragstrip magnet
its a cornering car i guess
and for people struggling on laferrari “yo dawg i heard you like ferraris so we put a ferrari on your ferrari so you can drive a ferrari while drive a ferrari”
The kia pride is a fantastic car
My mistake