10 Horrifically Ironic Car Names
1. Suzuki Esteem
‘Esteem’? Really?
2. Kia Pride
Kias are great cars these days, but this box of misery from the 90s isn’t something you’d take ‘Pride’ in.
3. Suzuki Swift
Yes, I know there have been fast Suzuki Swifts - you can still buy the Swift Sport, and the older Cultus-related Swifts even had GTI editions - but most are really, really slow. Does 0-60mph in 17.4 seconds sound ‘Swift’ to you?
4. Skoda Rapid
On a similar theme to the Swift, we have the Rapid from Skoda. And with the post powerful putting out a mere 120bhp from a 1.4-litre engine, ‘rapid’ it ain’t. Then there’s the old Rapid, which manages to puff out just 54bhp from its carbureted 1.3-litre engine.
5. Oldsmobile Achieva
As so well put by CTzen CLShifter, this car “achieved nothing bar accelerating the death of Oldsmobile.”
6. Daewoo Racer
The Daewoo Racer is the ironic gift that keeps on giving. It’s another name occasionally given for the ambitiously titled Daewoo ‘Le Mans’, a car which was sometimes called the ‘Heaven’. If this is what heaven looks like, sign me up to hell right now.
OK, so this one’s a brand name and not a model, but still: ‘Brilliance’ was not a word that came to mind when watching the BS6 fold like paper during this 2007 crash test.
8. Mitsubishi Carisma
I genuinely can’t think of a car with less charisma than this.
9. Mini Countryman
The Mini brand as a whole got a lot of mentions on our original community question, but since the whole supermini sector it’s aiming for has gotten rather bloated (just compare a first-gen Ford Fiesta with the current one and you’ll see what I mean), we aren’t going to call the BMW subsidiary out for its mildly ironic use of the word ‘mini’.
However, where it is stretched too far (figuratively and literally) is when the name Mini is applied to the definitely not mini Countryman. And just look at it. Not exactly an oil painting, is it?
10. Hyundai Excel
Here’s a car that doesn’t excel at anything. Other than being dull.
Any more you can think of? Get to the comments!
Growing up on a diet of World Rally Championship highlights and lengthy Gran Turismo 2 sessions, a life in cars was as good as inevitable for Matt.
Comments
The answer to what car has less charisma than a Carisma is, of course, the Nissan Sunny.
The Daewoo Racer is a true racer.. it might have a chance to win a race… it could win the Tour de France.
the company should learn to get a car with proper name or creating real race car
But theres another rapid, aston martin rapide , better!
I think it’s a shame that Skoda bastardised the Rapid name in the same way as Mini did with the Clubman and Countryman.
In my mind the Rapid should have been a little coupe and the Mini estate should have been the Countryman not the Clubman.
Daewoo racer?
More like ricer
AMC pacer, not exactly much “pace” in that thing
The Vauxhall corsa… There’s nothing ‘corsa’ (race) about it, I k is there’s the VXR variant, but most are just dreary dull heaps of crap
What’s up with the butthurt people here? one’s fighting about wether the Ferrari LaFerrari means Ferrari The Ferrari, Other is fighting about Mini not being small anymore?… where is the love that CT once had for each others opinion?
Hyundai Veloster? I think it doesn’t have much velocity than other cars…
only turbo that can make real fast
That first one is called a Baleno here though