23 Things You Need To Stop Doing To Your Car

First, take those tacky eyelashes off, Donatella

And the pimp dice... bin those too

Stop using your ride to help you become a YouTube sensation(al twat)

Part II

Your backseats... they don't deserve this

Don't let bitches drive

Never pit your tin can against a bus...

...ever

Thou shall never abuse thy dashboard with thy feet

Nor with thy shitty sing-a-longs

Nor with awkward silence

Stop cranking your handbrake

Stop mounting curbs and ruining your tracking

And for the love of car doors... stop slamming!

Stop slouching, fool, sit up straight!

Stop coating your seats with nasal excrement

Death to all audio hack jobs... Halfords are better than you

Stop treating your car like the runt of the family

But don't start driving Daddy's wheels either

Stop doing 3-point turns when it's snowing. Drift instead

And when it's hot, let her cool off

Stop wrapping cars in Barbie pink

But finally, stop hatin' and start lovin'. We're all in this together