5 reasons why the BMW M5 (E39) is better than the Audi RS6 (C5)

A few days ago, I posted “5 reasons why the Audi RS6 (C5) is better than the BMW M5 (E39)”. You can read that article here, if you haven’t already.

1. It only comes with a manual gearbox

The good old manual vs. auto debate… Of course it isn’t really a debate, what is though is whether or not it’s ok to have an automatic if your car can come with a manual… (or at least should be - let me know in the comments what you think)
This doesn’t make the Prius ok though. Wretched… “thing” - keeping it young teenager friendly.
With its manual - hhhhhhhgngnnnnn - transmission, the E39 M5 is already a different car to drive than the RS6. It’s more engaging and involving. And while it might be a slight pain when you’re stuck in traffic or pull away on an incline, it rewards you every single time you nail a downshift and praise the gods of rev-matching when you blip the throttle.
This is a car that makes you wonder why MCM can’t mean “manual crush monday”, as opposed to “man crush monday”, a topic solely discussed by 16 year old basic bi…es while casually sipping on a pumpkin spice latte and hating on Becky’s top because “OMG, O M G. Did you see that top?! It’s like so ewwww, so gross! Like get away from me. OMG”

2. The engine

I wouldn’t go as far to say the engine in the M5 is better than the 4.2 twin turbo V8 in the RS6, but as it’s naturally aspirated, it’s sound is simply intoxicating (although a bit silent for some, out of the box).
It’s a deep raspy burble that is smoothed out progressively, howling for the damned as the needle makes its way towards the redline.
In comparison, the RS6 has a very brutal engine. You could lower the national age average by revving it at old ladies on zebra crossings - don’t do that! who’s gonna knit you a christmas jumper then, huh?! It feels like a heavy sledgehammer blow to the back of the neck - stop thinking about little old ladies now, and LET GO OF THE SLEDGEHAMMER.
The M5 is also an accelerating champion, but it’s more progressive, and thanks to it’s independent throttle bodies, how it responds to the inclination of your right foot changes along the rev counter. Like I said, it’s not necessarily a better lump than the one in the Audi, but it’s definitely more precise, a bit sharper.

3. It has aged better

The E39 generation of BMW’s 5 series is widely regarded as the most successful; design wise, of it’s kind. The lines are simple, but desperately pretty, they give the car a real presence and a sophisticated look. None of the lines are actually that beautiful if you look at them on their own, but as an ensemble, even BMW themselves is struggling to do better.
The rear 3/4 view, like with many BMWs, is especially successful in stirring your loins as you walk up to it; butterflies in the stomach and all. I personally find that in a dark navy blue or a light silver (like in the picture above) the car looks even better.
The RS6 looks more dated, although I’d argue the 2nd generation of crazy estates from Ingolstadt look even more obsolete. The M5 looks purposeful, you know that it’s a bit more sporty, but not so much that it looks vulgar, or brash - “brash“ and “vulgar” are the words I’d use to describe the E60 M5.

4. It handles better

BMW chassis have always been praised for their balance, and this one is of course no exception. It’s significantly lighter than the RS6, even when in saloon form. As a result, it corners better, it give a better feel. It’s no go-kart (it still weighs quite a lot) but it seems to live with it’s weight, while the RS6 tries to work around it, compensate for it with 4WD and it’s “Dynamic Ride Control” - both features that are, of course, ruinously expensive to fix.
Incidentally, the M5’s suspension is a bit harder, and the chassis is slightly stiffer; so the ride shakes you about a bit more, but it’s not that much of a drawback. I’m willing to live with that for the steering and brake feel alone.

5. In-car telephone phone and other gadgets

If you don’t see the point of having a car phone, then you’re clearly much too mature to be reading this. So here’s an article on geopolitics that would suit the more grown up, BORING folks here: https://www.foreignaffairs.com/node/1113233 (Albeit a bit out dated - can you tell I’m still a kid?).
The car phone itself isn’t worth an entire “pro” point alone, but how it ties in with the philosophy of the car industry at the time does. In the 90s, car manufacturers wanted to make you live in the cars they sold you. You could get TV, you had a phone and some luxurious models would offer such things as a miniature bar in the glove box (now that’s a middle finger to political correctness) or a fridge in the boot.
It makes you ask yourself why you spend so much time in it, which in turn allows you to realise just how good the M5 is to drive. It’s dynamics make you want to go for a drive. However far the thirsty bast**d will let you go.

Plus you can call your nan and ask her how close she is to finishing that reindeer and snowflakes ridden jumper.

BONUS: Indicators are not compulsory.