This 500bhp V8 Motorcycle Is A Two-Wheeled Muscle Car

I know this is Car Throttle - emphasis on the car. But I live 30 minutes away from the largest motorcycle gathering in the world and it’s less than a month away, so two-wheelers are on the prowl in my neck of the woods. It’s called the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally because - big surprise - it takes place in Sturgis, South Dakota. And if you’re wondering just what “largest motorcycle gathering in the world” actually means, last year’s 75th anniversary event officially saw over 739,000 bikes for the week-long event. Mind you, the town of Sturgis has roughly 6000 residents. Heck, the entire freaking state of South Dakota has 850,000 residents.

And though Sturgis is technically an all-encompassing motorcycle rally, the unwritten rule is that you only show up on a loud and proud Harley Davidson, or something similar with a big V-twin engine that pops like firecrackers on the fourth of July. I’m not much of a Harley fan; they shake like a California earthquake, and for a low-tech cruiser with modest performance, they’re ridiculously expensive. If I’m going to put out that kind of coin for a big, low-tech, teeth-chattering cruiser, I’d be a bit more, shall we say, ambitious.

That’s why I’m positively giddy to present this 2001 Boss Hoss BHC9, selling in Minnesota for a cool $22,900. That’s roughly the same price you’d pay for a new Harley cruiser with a big V-twin engine, but as you’ve probably guessed by now, the Boss Hoss doesn’t stop at two cylinders. Not only is there a proper American V8 stuffed beneath the petrol tank on this massive motorcycle, it’s a 502 cubic-inch (8.2-litre) big block Chevrolet that should be making more than 500bhp. The only thing more ‘Murican than this would be Chuck Norris and John Wayne in a Wrestlemania match with a bald eagle as the referee.

Now, I say should make more than 500bhp because the auction description is desperately short on details. Boss Hoss has been around since 1990, and while they have certain models to choose from, many bikes are built with some measure of customisation. I’ve seen BHC9s advertised with 500bhp, 600bhp, 700bhp (yes 700), and let’s not overlook the NOS bottle pictured with this particular bike. I do see a line running behind the bottle, but it’s hard to tell if that’s going to the bottle, or the rear brake.

So what else do we know about this monstrosity? Well, it was in California until 2010, at which point it was sold to the current owners, who rode it “three times a year” at their vacation home in Phoenix before apparently taking it to Minnesota. Perhaps the roads in the northern latitudes just aren’t suited for such a machine, or maybe the quiet, highbrow folks in Minneapolis take offence to a noisy V8 with a seat and handlebars. With that vital information conveyed, the bike appears to be in great condition and it’s done 64,000 miles, presumably with the original owner unless the current owners had some epic road trips on their few rides in the Arizona desert.

I won’t be shy in saying that I love this thing. I mean really love it. Such creations don’t make sense to many people, and I think that’s because it goes against what many motorcycle enthusiasts look for in a bike. It’s heavy, crude, and not even close to being manoeuvrable. You don’t ride this bike or toss it around, you drive it and manhandle it like the muscle car it is. You grab hold and hang on for dear life, and if you can keep the rear tyre from becoming a smoke bomb, it will hang with hard-hitting sport bikes until aerodynamics come into play north of 100mph. It’s not precise. It’s not refined. It’s insanity on two wheels.

And that’s exactly why I’d have this over a Harley, every day of the week.