6 Golden Rules To Ensure Your Car's An Online Hit

Everyone knows that buying a car because you like it is not cool. What is cool is buying a car and modifying it in a way that'll get you tonnes of likes on the Internet! (Warning: the sarcasm in this post is off the scale!)

Darren Cassey

25 Jan 2016

Satin blue m3 with loads of carbon.. #yiannimize #satinblue #bmw #m3 #carbon
A photo posted by Yianni Charalambous (@yiannimize) on Dec 20, 2015 at 10:39pm PST

The wonderful thing about the Internet is the fact that we have all of human knowledge at our fingertips. Unfortunately that also means that you can spend hours every day looking at Ferraris and Lamborghinis and everything else inbetween, so when you see them in real life they lose some of that magic.

So if 458s are a dime a dozen, what hope does your ride have of making a splash? The best way to get noticed is to get the kind of ludicrous wrap you would never have repped before becoming social media famous was a thing.

So you’ve made sure people can see you, but how do you let them know you’re coming well in advance? Get an obnoxiously loud exhaust, of course! The added advantage of such an exhaust is that you can cross social media platforms - the wrap gets you likes on Instagram, the exhaust videos will be shared on YouTube. And as we all know, cars sound at their best when sitting stationary with the owner banging into the red line for minutes on end.

A loud exhaust isn’t always enough on its own. For those moments where you really want to make a scene, all you need is fire. If your car isn’t capable of doing this on its own, there are kits that you can fit to fix the problem. Just be careful kids, sometimes playing with fire can be dangerous. See, your mum was right.

4. Donuts and burnouts are always a good thing

6 Golden Rules To Ensure Your Car's An Online Hit

The more attention-grabbing your behaviour, the better, and there are few better ways to attract a crowd than by bouncing off the rev limiter and creating clouds of smoke. If you’re feeling ballsy, doing this in a crowded place has its risks, but the more reckless you are the more chance you have of become Internet famous, and that’s the best kind of famous, right? Just make sure you have an escape plan, because if it goes wrong then every petrolhead in the world will want to give you a good slap for giving them a bad name.

5. Buy something JDM

If you want to make lots of friends on the Car Throttle app and become the most followed user since our very own hairdresser Alex Kersten, then get yourself something Japanese. The Mazda RX-7 is pretty hot right now, but you can’t go wrong with a Nissan S-chassis…

6. Slam your car to the ground

Once upon a time, driving a car that you could… you know… actually drive was considered cool, but nowadays it’s all about scrapin’. You might be tempted to go for a subtle drop, just enough to fill the arches a little better, but in an ideal world you want to be rubbing. You’ll get loads of respect, because only really cool kids sacrifice drivability for style.

Comments

Need to rename this post “ 12 year olds keys to ct popularity”

chill out man.

Be a FIFA YouTuber with a fanbase made up of 12 year old boys who think chrome wrapped Lamborghini’s are cool…

Said twelve year-olds be like: “LIKE IF YOU WANT A 3462 BUGATTI LAMBORGHINI M5 GT-R NISMO!!!!1!11!😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍”