6 Reasons Why The Car Is Actually A Religion

In the beginning man created the car, and lo, he saw that it was good. He made another, and another, until the whole world was filled with their light, sound and splendour.

You see, cars aren’t just things. The car is a religion and we’re its followers. We’re advocates of Audi, disciples of Dodge and parishioners of Porsche. These are wonderful examples of wondrous creations born of skill, cooperation and love; creations that can capture hearts and minds for life.

If you thought about it, you could probably sum up a good few reasons why the likes of us might actually be following an unofficial religion. So we did. Our list is below, but let us know any extra reasons you can come up with!

Every religion has figureheads who guide the flock, interpreting even the highest reaches of divine thought as closely as they can and giving the worshippers direction and instruction. A bit like our favourite racing drivers, then, displaying epic skills on the track or the drift loop that we can learn to emulate ourselves in order to feel closer to our abstract deity. A bit like Chris Harris, perhaps, who’s both a proper car guy and a conduit between the world’s best cars and people like us.

We all know there are things that you must never do, if you call yourself a car person. The most obvious of these commandments is thou shalt never touch another’s car unless permitted. If it’s not yours, don’t touch it or allow anything of yours to touch it. There’s also thou shalt never leave one of your crew behind in a broken car, thou shalt never put anyone’s life in danger and thou shalt never rice your car without adding performance upgrades first.

Religion has produced some of the most stirring, soul-piercing music ever heard by human ears. Take the Christian hymn Jerusalem or the Islamic call to prayer as examples; they never fail to make you feel something even if you don’t know the words. Not unlike a chorus of four-, five-, six-, eight-, 10- and 12-cylinder engines revving at cars & coffee, you could say. We listen to the song of Lamborghinis, Ferraris and Aston Martins: it lifts our mood and soothes our souls.

All religions have holy texts, and all devout people read them. They give them guidance and reassurance when they need it. Workshop manuals, forums, new car spec sheets and all the multimedia journalism we can handle are our scriptures. We read, watch and listen because we know the learning is important to us. We know it enriches our knowledge and understanding of the car.

Worship brings us together

Socialising is another important facet of religions all over the world. They bring like-minded people together in one place and create a bond between strangers from different backgrounds, upbringings, races, neighbourhoods and histories. Car meets do exactly the same thing: we meet with a common purpose, to worship the almighty car and its infinite subtleties. We meet to share stories, show our latest work and admire our fellow worshippers’ efforts. It’s a community of people, most of whom support each other, and we should be proud of that.

Of course, every religion needs mystical, powerful figures at their heart, and ours is no exception. You all know the car holy trinity, right? The McLaren P1, the Ferrari LaFerrari and the Porsche 918 Spyder redefined what hypercars were about, combining similar elements of the future and the past in surprisingly different ways.

They’re ultra-rare, outstandingly significant even in the context of other cars that may come later, and just catching sight of one in full flight is all the proof we need to offer: cars are a religion, and this holy trinity is at its heart.