8 Pathetic Snow Plows That Couldn't Even Clear Your Throat

In case you hadn't noticed, it's been snowing. A lot.

That shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone, but predictably it's left the entire country in a flap and even trains, which take an incredibly predictable path and generally don't have other people to get in the way, seem unable to cope with this incredibly familiar weather phenomenon.

If you absolutely must go out - and while we admit tooling around in the snow is fun, it's less fun when some other tool slides into you because they're incompetent - then hopefully you'll be aware of our five snow driving rules.

You may also be hoping the main roads have been cleared by snow plows. But if you see one of the following, we wouldn't be holding out much hope.

Smart ForSnow

Theoretically, the Smart Fortwo should be quite good in snow. It's light, it has skinny tyres, and the engine is over the back wheels for extra traction. Unfortunately, with an enormous scoop on the front, we'd be surprised if the back wheels could even stay on the ground.

ToySnowta Yaris

Yes indeedy - what's left of this car used to be a Toyota Yaris. We're sure it makes a perfectly good plow, but unfortunately, its driver would have died of hypothermia long before getting to your street.

Snowlls-Royce

"What? A snow truck? I'm not having one of those dirty, noisy vehicles clearing the driveway to my stately home. Jeeves, break out the Roller! Jesus Christ Jeeves, stop throwing snowballs at me and do some fucking work..."

Lada Hiver

(See what we did there? Hiver sounds like Niva... French for winter.... never mind)

Snowtorcycle

Is this actually a motorcycle and sidecar combo? We're not sure. It's more fun to imagine it isn't, and imagining that the chap is clearing a path only wide enough for bikes and Renault Twizys. He's useless. You don't want him clearing your street.

Snowlski Fiat 126

Like the Smart, the Polski Fiat 126 is probably quite good in snow. It might even work as a plow. But how in God's name are you supposed to get in?

Snowsuki van

Another potentially good snow vehicle (narrow tyres, not much power, rear-wheel drive) ruined by a plow. How many feet before the weight of plowed snow stops the little Suzuki from moving entirely? Ten? Eight?

Snowsetta

This little Isetta appears to be sitting on an incredibly snow-free patch of land. Did it do that itself? Did it bollocks. Its wheels aren't even touching the ground...

Still, it could be worse. This could be your local snow plow guy: