9 Signs You're A Broke Petrolhead

1. Your car has a drifter's stitch...

….And not because you think it looks cool, but because it was the cheapest way to repair your bumper. If you need a drifter’s stitch, then check out this video!

2. Your car rolls on part worn tyres

Tyres are the only point of contact that your car has with the road, and you already know the importance of good rubber. But you buy part worns anyway, because they were cheap as hell and available straight away.

3. You fill up 1/4 tank at a time

Carrying less fuel means that your car’s weight will be lower, which is not only good for 0-60mph runs, but also good (minimally) for fuel economy. Sure, you have to fill up more frequently, but that’s a sacrifice you’re willing to see through.

4. You work on your car but can't afford axle stands

Working on your own car saves you money and helps you bond with your pride and joy. While this is good, what’s not so good is that you use bricks to keep your car in the air instead of axle stands. Please, for the love of God, always use axle stands, and don’t even think about only buying two stands and using a jack on the rear!

5. You can't afford a respray so you use duct tape instead

The saying goes ‘if you can’t fix it with duct tape, then you’re not using enough duct tape’. And while this holds true for 99.99999 per cent of cases, using it to wrap your car only proves how broke you are. Still, you’ve got to admire the great job this guy has done!

6. You charge your friends by the mile

In many cases, the reason why you’re so broke in the first place is because you bought, insured and taxed a car. For that reason, you feel completely justified when you ask your pedestrian friends for fuel money when they catch a ride with you. Quite right!

7. Air conditioning is banned in your car

Despite the fact your car has A/C, you refuse to use it. This is because your engine has to work harder with it turned on, which means your MPG drops quite significantly, as does your engine’s performance. And for that reason, you’d rather suffer in silence while you sweat away all your sins.

8. You wash your car only when it rains

When it’s time to give your car some cleaning attention, your bank balance only allows you to buy the very basics, including one sponge, one bucket and a bottle of washing up liquid. Pretty much the opposite of what you actually need. Of course, you only wash your car when it rains because of the free water!

9. Your ash tray is empty

You’re not a fool, so you don’t fill your ash tray with actual ash, but there is one crucial thing missing from it - money. Everyone knows that loose bits of change go in there, but because you save every penny you’ve got, you can’t afford to have it lying around not making you any interest. Also, fewer coins means weight reduction. Obviously!