9 Worst GTA V Cars Ever.

Now, GTA V is an open-world game with a massive map that offers a variety of cars, some of which are good, and some are not. Some however, are horrible. The scum of the earth, ones that we all hate, or will at least agree to hate after this blogpost. Hopefully. And I should now mention for the people that don’t play GTA that the cars are made up, and therefore this is not in any way linked to real life and my opinion on their equivalents. Ok, here we go…

9. Vapid FMJ

I started the list off with this car because I felt it wasn’t the worst, and definitely not the ugliest. It was added into the game recently, and apparently, or at least according to some websites, “it trumps the Banshee [900R] in every departament”. That is, of course, if those departaments are sloppy handling and the inability to, no matter at what speed, take a hairpin without spinnig out into a nearby lamp pole. The Banshee still “trumps” it in airport races, which is the only thing this car is useful for. Also, let’s not forget that this car, upgrades considered, is around $2,000,000, which means that the Banshee, despite a variety of customisations, is cheaper as well. Way to go, Rockstar…

8. Ocelot Lynx

This is by no means a bad car - it handles well, looks great, has a top speed no less than that of a, say, Jester, and accelerates with no wheelspin and rather rapidly too. However Rockstar may have added one too many noughts to the pricetag. $1.7million? For a sportscar? That’s a bit steep. No, sorry, that’s Mt. Chilliad steep. Paying supercar money for something that still gets owned by a $400,000 racecar Massacro is, well, to be polite, f*king daft. Just make your life easier - don’t buy it.

7. Benefactor XLS

This car was also added to the game with the Finance and Felony DLC, which, in my opinion, was the worst vehicle DLC ever. Sure, we got some nice missions, an Office and we could finally buy a bloody Cargobob. That and the ability to transport some drugs around the city in a van with ladders on the roof, but no good cars. The FMJ is an excuse of a Banshee, the Reaper is just goddamn awful, and this is just an overpriced Baller. There is nothing special about this car - you cannot customise it in any special way, hell, you don’t even get to make the interior some wierd colour like you do on other armoured cars. It isn’t specifically fast, and, hate me for this if you want, but I find it rather ugly too.

6. Vapid Contender

This is the most recent and the most beloved (with the Off-Road community at least) addition to the game. The Contender. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and even CT always talking about how it’s the “Fastest SUV!” Hold RIIIGHT THERE!!! An SUV? Seriously Rockstar, what is your problem. This would have made a brilliant and powerful Off-Roader, but no, you shove it in the Momvan category. A bit like the Drift Tampa then. A good car in the wrong place. Exept for the fact that the Deift Tampa actually looks nice. Have you tried taking this to the LSC? All you can do is remove that stupid lid off it’s back, and respray it. That’s it. Not even a bumper or some cool roof-mounted lights. This car was meant to be “the succesor of the Sandking”. More like an embarrassment to it.

5. Bravado Rumpo Custom

Now this car is probably the disappointment of the year. It is based off the “A-Team Van”, so you’d expect it to be fast.
It’s got “Custom” in it’s name so you’d expect it to be customisable. And since it’s a bloody van, you definitely wouldn’t expect it to be placed in the “Off-Road” category. However, all your expectations are wrong. Because, much like the Contender, this is a car in the wrong class, with no customisations to compensate for that. Only this time, instead of being the fastest, it’s the slowest. 0-60? 🎵Never gonna get it, never gonna get it🎵

4. Dundreary Regina

The only reason this car is not all the way at 1 is because it has been in the game since launch, and we all got used to it’s hopelessness. It is slow, ugly, has the turning circle the size of Belfast, and, however hard you try, it will still be the core cause of eye cancer after being taken to the Los Santos Customs for what your wallet will later regret. And as for the number of freeroam races it caused me to lose, well, let’s not go there. Ok, 34. It could have made a cool-ish lowrider, or, with wider customisation options, made a nice car in general. But as for now, you have to be Dun with you dreary life to own a Regina. See what I did there?

3. MTL Dune

So, as of this, we knew straight away this car would be bloody miserable. One word. Pegasus. No seriously, this could have been a cool vehicle if it wasn’t a Pegasus. Or at least that was what everyone said untill it actually came out. Because when it did, I, personally, took those words back. It would be daring of me to compare it to a snail - it is much slower, and much less sturdy. Trust me, a snail can take a speedbump without flipping over. This can’t. And that’s just not good enough for $1,335,000. Every time Pegasus can’t deliver it, I actually thank them. Not to actually mention that it handles like a Brickade, which brings me onto number 2.

2. MTL Brickade

Now, this car is basically THE SIN of Rockstar Games. I really thought I would put it at Number 1 at first. Let’s break it down. Firstly, that massive cabin is not openable, and that destroys the point of it - you can’t store a car in there, nor can you transport a bunch of your friends. Also, only three people can sit inside. Three. I don’t know why they didn’t add another set of doors and make it six, or at least four, but no, three. And apparently, according to Warstock, it can house 7 people. If “house” means “let them hang on the sides with crossed fingers that you won’t hit anything”, then yes, it does. Which you unavoidably will, because there is no such thing as “handling” to it. There is either “do an elevety million point turn to bloody go somwhere” or “crash into a wall”. Neither are very good options. The only worse option is buying the thing in the first place.

1. Grotti X80 Proto

Finally, you’re thinking, Number 1, that bit you were waiting for. But not the car you were expecting. “X80? The best car in the game? Boo!” Let me stop you there, because calling it “the best car in the game” is like calling the iPhone the best phone on the market. It bloody isn’t, you just want to think it is because of the money you blew on it. Same story here: when you spent Hydra money on a car, you wouldn’t want me to tell you that it’s an understeering piece of sh*t, would you? But, unfortunately, that’s exactly what I’ll do. It is, in a way, like a Hydra. That way, of course, is trying to take flight. Every single given opportunity, the X80 would bounce off and start flying into a tree, or off the stunt course you were trying to do, and then into a tree. It is too light to grip like the new RE-7B, and therefore it just understeers, and when you try to line it up, it oversteers, usually also into a tree. Really, the only advantage it has over the Hydra that you could have bought is that flying into a tree doesn’t kill it. But the RE-7B does just that. “In every departament”.

So, that’s the end of my first #blogpost. Most of these cars ended up here because of Rockstar’s greed for microtransactions, and careless gamers “buying the most expensive one”. Anything you disagree with? Anything to point out? Comment section is all yours. More from me on GTA (and other games) coming soon!

This content was originally posted by a Car Throttle user on our Community platform and was not commissioned or created by the CT editorial team.