Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

Here's a most interesting comparison of cars costing less than £1000, where the winner is still a pile of monkey poo...
Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

When it comes to cheap beater cars, are the best ones found in the United States or the United Kingdom? Speaking as a lifelong American, you can probably guess what my answer is. But you’d be wrong because honestly, I’m not sure who has the better beaters.

That’s because you can approach the whole beater concept from different angles. America has no federal testing standards for cars like UK drivers have with the Ministry of Transport. Most states have some kind of basic annual inspection for safety and/or emissions, but 13 U.S. states have nothing at all. That means beater cars here can get downright nasty - as in floorboards completely rusted away, mismatched lights duct-taped into place, zip-tied suspension and leaking fuel tank nasty. And yes, I once had all the above in a 1990 Ford Escort GT, pictured here with the gaping hole in the floor.

Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

Things are a bit different on the other side of the pond, where cars have to pass a fairly stringent MOT inspection to be certified road-legal. I think I speak for most Americans when I say your beater cars are, generally speaking, much nicer than ours. But I’m not sure being nicer actually makes a better beater.

Here’s the thing - some people like their beater cars to be just a bit feral; threatening to either fall apart or blow up or simply disintegrate upon hitting the next pothole. I’m not ashamed to admit I find those cars wildly entertaining, for a week or so anyway. If anything, beater cars in the UK would pass for reasonably nice used cars in the States, and I suspect they’d bring in quite a bit more coin.

Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

To showcase a bit of what I’m talking about, and just for the sheer fun of seeing how much car you can get for your money, I dug up a couple beaters from both sides of the pond. We’ll start with the former pride and joy of police departments across America - the trusty body-on-frame, rear-wheel drive, V8-powered Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor.

Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

This particular ‘Vic is a 2007 model, selling in New York for a mere $1200. That’s just over £830 and if I’m honest, that’s an insanely good price for a late model interceptor. In fact, with the cult following ex-police cruisers have in the States, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if it sold before this article even goes live. If that’s the case, here’s what you need to know.

Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

It’s done 158,000 miles, and though it’s pretty rusty around the fenders and doors, I’ve seen much worse. I still wager good money that you’ll find hidden rust in the floor, but since it rides on a full frame there won’t be any loss in rigidity. There are no interior or engine pictures, but most ex-cop cars have vinyl floors with an AM/FM stereo and basic power equipment (windows, locks and air con) as the only luxuries.

Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

Power comes from a 4.6-litre V8 that ideally still makes all of its original 250bhp. If that’s the case, this old cruiser would be the perfect fun beater in America - rear-wheel drive and ugly as mouldy donuts, but gutsy enough to get sideways with a thumping V8.

Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

Meanwhile, civilised petrolheads in the UK can also enjoy some inexpensive rear-wheel drive tomfoolery, courtesy of this 1998 BMW 328i Touring selling for just £650 in Romsey. The odometer shows just 137,000 rounds, and in the pictures it looks quite good both inside and out. Yes it’s got an automatic transmission, but we’re talking £650 for a running and driving E36 BMW with the 190bhp 2.8-litre inline six. So what’s the catch?

Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

Per the ad, the car is said to drive “absolutely fine and everything seems to work fine.” The ad also says the car was originally destined for a manual transmission swap to become a drift car, then as an engine donor for an E30 project until the seller lost interest. The real question to ask here is, what did the current owner discover that led him to want to bail out? To make matters worse, its MOT recently expired, so if there are other problems present, it might cost hundreds or thousands more to make it road legal.

Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

But that’s quite a bit of speculation there. You could also buy this car for £650, sail through MOT and have a car that looks good, hauls all kinds of things, and is fun to drive. It’s certainly priced like a beater, but compared with the rusty Crown Victoria, this estate wouldn’t be a beater in the ‘States.

Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

So what’s your cheap car flavour: V8 ‘Murican cop car or quintessential German estate? I kinda want them both, hence why I’m not sure who has the best beaters. Either way, it’s nice to know there are actually some decent rides to be had for crazy cheap cash. I seriously need a bigger garage.

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Comments

Eythan Aldrich

Crown Vic

06/04/2016 - 09:16 |
2 | 2
Anonymous

I’d throw a Ford Stroker Engine into a Crown Vic if I was in the States.
That and Wheels, Tires, Brakes and Coilovers and a Good Stereo with a few CDs of Johnny Cash.

06/04/2016 - 11:12 |
4 | 0
Mr.PurpleV12

I bought my 1991 Crown Victoria LTD for 1200$ and its in great shape. Also have to remember I was looking for a good one for like 3 years.

06/04/2016 - 12:27 |
8 | 0

I had the ‘90 2 door. Took forever to find and when I needed more driveway space it was sold in half a day lol

06/04/2016 - 20:38 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

With an mot failure and advisory list like the bmw has, i’d be staying away from it personally

offside Front position lamp(s) not working (1.1.A.3b)
Brake fluid warning lamp illuminated (3.6.G.2)
nearside rear Suspension component mounting prescribed area is excessively corroded (2.4.A.3)
offside rear Suspension component mounting prescribed area is excessively corroded (2.4.A.3)
nearside rear Radius arm attachment bracket/mounting corroded and its strength is seriously reduced front mount (2.4.G.1)
offside rear Radius arm attachment bracket/mounting corroded and its strength is seriously reduced front mount (2.4.G.1)
nearside Brake pipe excessively corroded front to rear (3.6.B.2c)
offside Brake pipe excessively corroded front to rear (3.6.B.2c)
offside rear Shock absorber has a serious fluid leak (2.7.3)
offside rear lower Seat belt anchorage prescribed area is excessively corroded (5.2.6)
front registration plate character(s) formed using multiple strokes (6.3.4e)

Advisory notice item(s)
nearside front Anti-roll bar rubber bush deteriorated but not resulting in excessive movement (2.4.G.2)
offside front Anti-roll bar rubber bush deteriorated but not resulting in excessive movement (2.4.G.2)
rear Brake hose slightly deteriorated all (3.6.B.4d)
offside rear Brake pipe slightly corroded (3.6.B.2c)
nearside front lower Suspension arm rubber bush deteriorated but not resulting in excessive movement (2.4.G.2)
offside front lower Suspension arm rubber bush deteriorated but not resulting in excessive movement (2.4.G.2)
rear coil spring corroded both (2.4.C.1b)
both front jacking points corrode
unable to check outer sills fully as covers fitted
nearside front Shock absorber has slight corrosion to the casing (2.7.2a)
Power steering component(s) has slight seepage from a component rack (2.3.3b)

06/04/2016 - 13:24 |
6 | 0
Cory Brayshaw

I can’t believe just how badly beaten up that crown vic is

06/04/2016 - 14:47 |
0 | 0
Luke 21

Im all for America and I’m proud to say it, but I’d take the e36 and make it a daily. But having it shipped here and all would cost a lot.

06/04/2016 - 15:07 |
0 | 0
Enz0

E36 has rust problems on the chassis.
The engine doesn’t have problems usually. Only VANOS could cause some headache but it’s an easy fix with o-rings change.
Expect to change almost everything on suspension and if she’s losing oil, you’re kind of screwed because you need to change the CCV and the crankshaft seals to get her working.
All in all for MOT you might need to pay around 1500p to get her done if it’s all bad under the car or under the bonet. Still you might be lucky and she has the engine ok and only the brakes and suspension needs to be “refreshed”.

The price is okish. In Germany an E36 328i (sedan or Touring) starting with production year 1994 is to be found between 1000-1500EUR and she can take a beat and carry you at least 350.000km without major problems.

06/04/2016 - 15:45 |
4 | 0
Anonymous

As a Swede i always have cheap Volvos ☺️

06/04/2016 - 20:14 |
0 | 0
CarChase

I paid $800 for a rust free Crown Vic with 65k miles. You can definitely score a better deal than $1200 for a rusty one any day

06/04/2016 - 20:18 |
4 | 0
Roads-Watson

I have to say an American Beater is a lot better than a UK beater. because as you say, we don’t really have Beaters because of the strict laws and tests the cars must pass. In the US you pick up a cheap car, run it til it breaks then pick up another. Difference being that car could die next week. In the UK there’s a fair chance it could last you for years

06/04/2016 - 20:18 |
6 | 0