Awesome Alternatives To Your Next Sh*tbox Purchase

Look, the world's filled with boring choices. You can go to the grocery store and get Whoopie Pie chocolate ice cream, or you can get vanilla. You could listen to Nickelback, or you could listen to something that isn't canned shit forced through a speaker. The same is true with cars. Sometimes it pays off to go boring, but before you sign on the line for that Camryolla, how about considering something that won't make you want to eat your own pants for excitement?

Suzuki Kizashi = Jetta

The Volkswagen Jetta used to be cool. And by 'used to be' I mean ten years ago, when everything else in the compact segment was a torture box of terrible. These days it's been de-contented to suit American tastes, which is always bad.  For something similar but more interesting, the Suzuki Kizashi takes a beating. It's how the Jetta used to be: unique, well-sized, fun-to-drive, and priced fairly. There's no turbos or diesels, but the 2.4 16v is a willing partner with the 6-speed, or you can get Suzuki's weird push-button AWD/CVT to escape the angry snowmen. Unless you live in America, that is - Suzuki just called it quits on our market after years of struggling.

Fiat Coupe Turbo = Celica

The Celica was always the blandest-common-denominator of sports coupes - it was a sports car for people that didn't want a sports car. It's out of production, but what about in the used market? It's a Toyota, so they last forever.  But what if you could get something actually interesting for the same cash?

Enter the Fiat Coupe 20v Turbo.  Penned by Chris Bangle (yes, that Chris Bangle) the Coupe was a big ol' bucket of weird.   The shape itself was fascinating, but under the hood was even cooler. Powered by a turbocharged 2.0L with 220bhp and a six-speed, the 20v Turbo could hit sixty in 6.5 seconds, and top out at 155mph - serious stuff. It had that 5-cylinder howl, torque-steer for days, and they're cheap as hell. Sure it's a 90's Fiat so things will fall off all the time, and they need frequent timing belt changes, but still. Awesome.

Kia Sportage SX Turbo = Honda CR-V

Neither of these are the stuff gearhead-dreams are made of, but if you have kids and diapers to schlep around you can do so much better than the bestselling CR-V. Sure it's a Honda and residuals are good and maintenance is cheap, but the Sportage is so much cooler. For one thing, the SX Turbo can blow the doors off a lot of hot hatches and "sports cars" with it's 260bhp turbo engine and AWD. It's penned by former Audi stylist Peter Schreyer, so it sort of looks like a GTI on steroids. And priced from $28-31k, it's not even a bad deal. You can be a parent and not give up on life, you know.

Saturn Sky Redline = Miata

I'm not actually saying that the Miata (Mazda MX-5) is a terrible car. It's not; there's a reason they've almost sold a million of them. But as much as I appreciate it's laid back attitude, light weight, and balanced nature, sometimes a bit of something different helps. For that, how about a Saturn Sky Redline/Opel GT? The Sky (and it's brother the Pontiac Solstice) have a lot in common with the Corvette chassis-wise. Skip the base model and get the 2.0L turbocharged version, which will do 60 in the low 5s, and handles like a cat on carpet. The top design sucks, there's not much storage space, it's way heavier than it's supposed to be - but why are you thinking about practical considerations? This is a sports car! Also, let's not forget the massive power gains available by tweaking that LNF...

Subaru Legacy Spec B = Audi A4 2.0T

If you're looking for a four-wheel drive sedan with class that's fun to drive, the go-to has been the Audi A4 Quattro for 16 years now. But if you've noticed that both of your neighbors have a grey one, how about something from that other AWD specialty company? Subaru does more than tacky rally reps, y'know. The Legacy Spec B was a limited-production upgrade of the already cool Legacy 2.5GT - the 05-09 body style before it got ugly. It borrowed heavily from the STi parts bin: inverted Bilsteins, 6-speed gearbox, stiffer suspension, classy 18" alloys, etc. The 250bhp turbo flat-four is always fun, especially when it's in such a grown-up wrapper. Again, the ability to make it really fast is also hard to ignore.

Lincoln MKS EcoBoost = Lexus GS350

I won't fault you for wanting a Lexus GS350. You've worked hard and climbed the corporate ladder, and wish to reward yourself with an opulent, noticeable luxobarge. Fine, but at least take a look at the Lincoln MKS EcoBoost first. It might not be the obvious choice, but the basic car itself is plenty rich: wood, leather, chrome, and deep carpet in the classic American luxury tradition. However while the Lexus offers you 307 high-strung horsepower, the MKS's party trick are the pair of turbos wedged into the engine bay.  365 horsepower, 350 lb-ft from 1500rpm make it the consummate stoplight crusher: how's 5.3 seconds to sixty strike you? In addition to punching Porsches in sybaritic luxury, you can also enjoy not seeing yourself at every stoplight.

Hyundai Genesis 5.0 R = BMW 528i

"No fair. You can't pitch a BMW against a Hyundai." I mean, when it comes to luxurious mid-sized sedans, surely BMW is the king of the mountain, right? Well, let's look at what your $47,500 gets you with a base-model 528i. A 2.0L turbo with 240bhp, and the daunting site of the options list after that. What does $47,500 get you over at Hyundai? Why, this 5.0L 429bhp Genesis 5.0 R Spec. Not quite twice the power output with an MSRP $700 less than that base BMW. Don't think the Hyundai skimps on goodies either: to get a 5-series equipped identically to the R Spec, you'd need to plunk down $85,520 for a loaded 550i - which still has 29 less horsepower. So how much is that badge worth, anyway?

Jeep Cherokee SRT-8 = Rangie Sport

Range Rovers have this certain cache to them that's hard to ignore. They say wealth, class, and pretension. On the other hand, an SRT-8 Grand Cherokee says that you enjoy watching MMA fights ring-side. It's a very brash vehicle. Hood scoops, 20" chrome wheels and steamroller tyres, huge brakes, it's sort of in-your-face. The 6.4L V8 packs a 470bhp punch with the quintessential American burble, but surprises with flawless traction courtesy of AWD, and cylinder deactivation to save the trees. The old SRT-8 was pretty much only good at surprising Mustangs from a standing start, but the new one with adaptive damping and a classy interior is a remarkably good way to spend $61,000.  Plus it makes the RR Sport look like a bit of a wallflower.

Ford Shelby GT500 = BMW M3

The M3 is the undoubted king of all-around-appeal. It can shuffle 4 people to the airport in comfort. It can impress clients. It can blitz around a racetrack sideways with it's V8 bouncing north of 8,000rpm. It can drag-race, auto-cross, or globe-trot. It's almost a bargain for $60,100. What it won't do: 200 miles an hour. The Shelby GT500 is probably the most insane car you can buy: it packs 662 horsepower (that's more than a McLaren F1, by the way) and 631lb-ft of torque. The numbers speak for themselves, but what's remarkable is how tame they've managed to make it seem. You can just cruise along in the super-deep 6th gear barely over idle at 70, or you can burn rubber in third at the same speed. And the Shelby starts out $6k cheaper...

VW Golf TDI = Toyota Prius

And we get to the obvious one. Hopefully I'm preaching to the choir, but if you want great fuel economy you don't have to stuff yourself into a hate machine like the Prius. Nothing fun about it: no power, no handling, no brakes, no style, no character. A diesel Golf - a car they've been making seemingly for eons now - may not be as new of a "recipe" but out on the open road, the fuel economy is similar. The diesel will top 50mpg on the highway if you're careful. But it is also fun to drive: the wallop of torque in the mid-range, the clever DSG gearbox, the alert steering and well-judged suspension all go a long way towards making it fun to drive. You can do so much better when you think outside the box.

Comments? Better ideas? Sound off!