The British Top 10 Chav-tastic Cars

If you're anything like this chap, then chances are you've got the keys to one of these ten chav-mobiles. Technically any car can become suitable for regular 'Jeremy Kyle Show guests' by being distastefully modified, having a large hole in the exhaust or blasting dubsteb/rave music out of an open window. Here's a list of the most likely victims of the culture in the UK commonly known as "chav":

10. Vauxhall VXR8

Of course, not many chavs have been seen behind the wheel of the VXR8 but it ticks all of their boxes. It's very loud with a 6.2-litre V8 producing 436bhp under the bonnet, plus it's one of the cheapest ways of getting brand new V8 power with a starting price of £45k and it's completely immature as it loves going sideways. It's basically a chav with four wheels.

9. BMW E36 3 Series Coupe

A surprise entry on the list. Everyone loves the BMW 3 Series coupe, and this includes chavs sadly. The Beamers that non-educated delinquents usually go for is this particular example, an E36. The cheapest one you can get on the second hand market comes painted in either black, the trademark dark blue or in this ghastly yellow. They usually put trademark touches such as a whopper of a hole in the exhaust and a homemade spoiler on the bootlid. It's a shame that this German compact executive can attract the wrong clientele.

8. Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution

One of two rally icons that chavs love is the Evo. Even the Police have bought these things to catch speeding townies when they are up to their usual tricks. Well, if you can't beat them, join them. Have you ever seen a police camera chase show without a chav stealing an Evo from a showroom? Didn't think so.

7. Peugeot 306

Why are cars such as the Peugeot 306 popular with chavs in the first place? Simple. They're dirt cheap to buy and insure. That said, there are some chavs out there that are probably on the road without any insurance in the first place. No wonder, it's just far too expensive for what it is...a Peugeot. This particular example is owned by a bloke called Absy and has had £30,000 worth of mods draped all over it, plus is fitted with a 3.0-litre V6 engine.

6. Range Rover Sport

At the other end of the scale is the Range Rover Sport. Usually a Range Rover is owned by a superior gentleman that lives in the country or Jeremy Clarkson, but the Sport is as desirable as a huge gold chain around your neck to chavs. There are two ways in which they get there hands on them; nicking them or some serious drug dealing, as the starting price of a new RRS is around £50k. It would be higher up the chart if the boy wizard Rupert Grint didn't own one just like this.

5. MG ZR

This was England's answer to cars such as the Peugeot 206 GTI or Ford Fiesta ST between 2001 and 2005. You would be sure a chav was behind the wheel of one of these as the grannies would be in its sister car, the Rover 25. When it was released, it came with deals such as free insurance (a godsend) and VAT off the already low price. Phew, that's one sure-fire way of attracting some chavs. It was MG Rover's best seller in 2004 but it disappeared in 2007 after MG's new owners, SAIC, didn't include the car in their relaunched lineup. And that's not surprising.

4. Citroen Saxo

One of the most popular customised cars ever to hit our British roads is the Citroen Saxo. Marketing methods used to attract buyers to the MG ZR were also used for the Saxo, free insurance being the main one, and Citroen were usually easy when it came to haggling for discounts. There are so many out there stuck teetering on speedbumps since the chavs like them so low they scrape the ground.

3. Ford Focus RS

Like the VXR8, this particular Ford Focus has chav written all over it. The eye-watering ultimate green paint job, the 300bhp 2.5 five pot from Volvo and the naff looking black spoiler on the back. The price tag of £25k means that not all of them could legally get their hands on these beasts, thankfully.

2. Subaru Impreza

The other rally icon the chavs love is the classic Impreza. Loads of these can be found around Essex but one wonders how the typical chav gets their hands on one. If a 17-year-old phoned an insurance company so that they could legally unleash this animal on the road, they'd simply point-blank refuse to insure them or at least give a quote in the tens-of-thousands. Fishy indeed. It's close to the top spot but the police have a fair share of them too, most of them being previously stolen or uninsured and then converted to police cars. Yes, they can do that.

1. Vauxhall Corsa

What the police definitely do not want to seize and give the police car treatment to is the number one chav-mobile. You could blame its popularity for its position but every fast food restaurants' car park has at least one distastefully modified Corsa in it, such as the one above, with no badging anywhere to be seen (why do you guys do that?!) and a driver wearing a backwards baseball cap. Main attractions to the Corsa include the fact they are available on the used car market for next-to-nothing and there are so many aftermarket firms that have bits for them. Also, the very slow and small 1-litre versions are the cheapest in class to insure and it's surely one of the better looking hatches of its time.

That then concludes the top ten victims of 'chavism'. A list anyone wanting to avoid immature drivers or even catch them would find useful. If your car is up there and you want to rage over its chavvy reputation or if the car you passionately hate isn't on the list then drop a line in capital letters below or on the Car Throttle Facebook and Twitter pages. Peace out, innit.