Domino's Fixing The Roads Is So Ridiculous That It Just Might Work

Tired of local politicians not listening to the people's complaints about the crumbling road surface? Maybe the farcical intervention from pizza giant Domino's might shake a few departments into action

CTZens, we’ve reached a landmark time in history. A time when a pizza company is using its own money – which is to say its customers’ money – to fix roads blighted by potholes. Yep: where local governments are saying that repairing the roads isn’t a high enough priority for them, or that they can’t spare the funds, Domino’s Pizza is stepping in.

Potential damage to your car isn’t, it seems, a good enough reason to compel the US authorities to act on the disintegrating roads. Potentially lethal consequences for motorbike riders and cyclists apparently isn’t a good enough argument, either. Nope, the one that’s got things moving is that people are receiving wonky pizzas.

Domino's Fixing The Roads Is So Ridiculous That It Just Might Work

It’s like the plot from a weird B-movie where corporations have taken over the world. Your rubbish/garbage collections are handled by a division of Krispy Kreme, maybe, while Walmart controls social housing and Domino’s fixes the roads. It’s bizarre, and would probably involve, ahem, cheesy billboard jokes about giving local roads extra toppings.

The state of the roads is a very real problem both across the US and in the UK. People like us have got to be among those who hate it most; the cruel slam of our wheels into potholes we simply can’t avoid is enough to make us want to insert a handbrake lever into the politicians that let it happen.

The Swindon branch of Domino's used a Renault Twizy
The Swindon branch of Domino's used a Renault Twizy

The main purpose behind the Domino’s manoeuvre, offering actual money to local authorities whose residents have nominated their roads as needing urgent repairs, is, of course, publicity. This story has gone all over the world and if you weren’t already thinking about getting a Domino’s, you probably are now. As marketing goes, it’s genius.

On the other hand it’s a total farce. We, as taxpayers – anyone young enough not to be paying tax yet, you can just sit back and enjoy the lols – are being told that our roads are so bad that private companies are now getting involved. It’s like Tesco not being able to stack its shelves properly and customers having to step in and do it themselves before they can even get around to shopping.

Domino's Fixing The Roads Is So Ridiculous That It Just Might Work

Where is this going? Either governments local and national will be shamed into doing something about the pothole nightmare (finally), or they’ll sneakily agree in some luxurious back room over an expensed dinner of caviar and quail’s eggs that it’s probably best to do nothing and hopefully force more private companies – or even individuals – to pay instead.

Any self-respecting politician who serves his or her people should find Domino’s new marketing campaign personally embarrassing. They, as our elected leaders, are failing us badly enough for this to have become a quasi-joke from a pizza brand. Let’s hope that, whatever happens to the roads on your local fast food delivery route, this snaps a few local government officials into gear.

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Comments

TheBigLoser

Lets be honest here, the real reason they’re doing this is to get over that PR disaster when Samcrac got one of their cars and repaired it, causing them to get involved and say “this is our car, you can’t have it nor have our logos on it” even though he rightfully bought the car fair and square.

06/17/2018 - 01:14 |
1 | 1

If that were to actually be the case, this should get an award for The Biggest Overkill Fix Of All Time, or TBOFOAT for friends

06/17/2018 - 13:17 |
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Anonymous

Reminds me of PrnHub that shovels the snow…

06/17/2018 - 01:17 |
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Anonymous

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

And this reminds me of the fact that there’s a guy in Britain drawing d*cks on potholes to get them to fix the potholes

06/17/2018 - 03:15 |
3 | 0
Michael Masin

I work for a local government. The reality is that if you want better roads you have to either pay higher rates/taxes, or accept that you’ll have to go without other public services. We regularly get complaints about the condition of local roads, and it’d be great if we could fix all of them, but there’s only so much money available. There wouldn’t be too many local governments out there sitting on massive budget surpluses

06/17/2018 - 04:53 |
2 | 0
HF_Martini6

Next time i’ll be in the US there will be Burger King Power Lines, Macdonalds Phone Lines and Subway public Transports?

06/17/2018 - 08:03 |
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Anonymous

It is gonna be crap. Theyll probably use their leftover pizza to help pave the roads.

06/17/2018 - 12:41 |
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Anonymous

They’d go bankrupt if they tried doing this in some parts of Mexico…

06/17/2018 - 17:48 |
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