Engineering Explained: 7 Stupid Things 'Real' Car Guys Say

The car community isn’t all peace, love, and happiness. We’re a hard-headed bunch, and we love to share our opinions. Here are seven things we might be caught saying, but should think twice about before jumping the gun on.

1. The Nissan GT-R Drives Itself
2. FWD Cars Don’t Need Spoilers
3. Fuel Economy Doesn’t Matter
4. I Don’t Care About Emissions
5. The Bugatti Veyron Is Dumb
6. Minivans Are For Soccer Moms
7. Car Guys Don’t Lean On Cars

1. The Nissan GT-R Drives Itself

Last time I checked, the only production car driving itself these days was the Tesla Model S on highways. People love the Mitsubishi Evolution because of its sophisticated AWD system and torque vectoring rear differential because it induces yaw, helping the car pull out of a bend even faster. The incredible GT-R arguably has an even more sophisticated AWD system, and for some reason it gets a bad rep. The haters claim it drives itself, even though at the highest trim it has 600hp which can all be sent to the rear wheels if necessary, and a fully defeatable stability and traction control system.

Let’s make something clear, the vast majority of us (me included) aren’t going to be equalling Randy Pobst’s lap times at Laguna Seca just because the GT-R has a brilliant AWD system. Almost every man-mover these days has traction and stability assists. This is the enemy you should be worried about as far as the spirit of driving is concerned. So long as the trend continues to allow users to disable these features, hold your tongue.

2. FWD Cars Don’t Need Spoilers/Wings

Somehow this statement still makes it to the top of the comments: “love how u stuck a wing on a fwd econobox, pointless!” Now I’m not saying that economy cars need spoilers, but the fact that the car is FWD has very little to do with whether or not it can benefit from downforce. Like everything in life, downforce requires a balance. Too much in the front, the car oversteers. Too much on the rear, and you’re lucky if the car turns at all. Adding downforce is critical for high cornering speeds, which otherwise is dictated purely by the tyres’ interaction with the ground.

Balancing that downforce above the centre of gravity is the next step in a dynamically sound race car. On top of downforce, there are scenarios where adding a spoiler can reduce the drag of a vehicle, and this translates to better fuel economy (or for the race car people out there, faster acceleration).

3. Fuel Economy Doesn’t Matter

Personally this one irritates me the most as I feel like it’s always coming from the same folks that say “all my money goes to car parts” who don’t realise that fuel does cost money. Here’s a fun example: In the United States, the annual fuel cost for a Mitsubishi Evo X is $3000. For a new MX-5, it’s $1650. After 5 years in the MX-5 you’ve saved $6750; that’s hardly trivial. Don’t put too much thought into it. If you could have a car that gets 40 mpg or 20 mpg, which would you pick? Don’t allow engineers to slack and not provide something that’s both powerful and efficient. After all, the new Corvette has a better highway fuel economy rating than a manual V6 Honda Accord, and that’s worth celebrating.

There’s more to fuel economy than just the cost. Range and emissions are important as well. Anyone who drives a Mazda RX-8 can relate. The range is pitiful because the fuel economy is terrible. Gas stations become a frequent part of the routine of life. So you think to yourself “well why not just have a bigger fuel tank?” Are you serious about this because race car nonsense or not? Weight reduction my friend. Every gallon adds six pounds in gasoline weight alone, not to mention the packaging and safety requirements that go along with it.

Fuel economy and emissions often go hand in hand (exceptions for VW may occur). Saying you don’t care about emissions is like saying you don’t care about the planet you live on. More on that below.

4. I Don’t Care About Emissions

To anyone who says that emissions aren’t important, I hope you never end up in a closed garage with the car running and assume nothing’s wrong. You’ll die. That’s a fact. In this case it’s due to carbon monoxide poisoning, which reduces the amount of oxygen that reaches the brain. It’s strange to think that we believe something is harmless outside yet if we’re in a room with one running for 10 minutes you’re in serious trouble.

And this is just looking at emissions on the most basic scale. CO2 is a real problem. Nitrogen oxides are a real problem. A study out of UC Berkeley calculated that 1.6 million people die every year in China as a result of air pollution. People often take for granted what the EPA is doing to save our lungs in the United States, regardless of if they have any compassion towards the rest of the creatures on this planet.

5. The Bugatti Veyron Is Dumb

Something about specific output (HP/L) has always disturbed car people. The Veyron only makes 125 horsepower per litre out of its 16 cylinder engine. How pathetic! Koenigsegg pumps 268 horsepower out of each litre on the One:1, so clearly the Veyron is child’s play. First, let’s make one thing clear. Specific output is only relevant if you’re comparing apples to apples. By adding boost, anything can create more power with the same engine size. Example 1: Top Fuel NHRA dragsters. Today they’re pumping out 10,000hp HP from an 8.2-litre engine. That works out to 1220 horsepower per litre, so now do you think the Koenigsegg is stupid?

Another thing to keep in mind is that every single Veyron was sold at a loss. It’s an $8 million car with a $2 million price tag. As staggering as the engineering is, the marketing stunt is equally impressive, building endless hype for a brand. This isn’t to discredit what Koenigsegg has accomplished in any way. What it’s done is without a doubt impressive, but it’s a small company and as such has to sell cars at a value that keeps it alive (quite logical). With a Koenigsegg you get what you pay for, but with a Veyron your incentive is that 75 per cent of the car is free. That’s a great deal of complimentary R&D.

6. Minivans Are For Soccer Moms

Let’s get our facts straight. People love stuff. Minivans are large boxes with wheels. Boxes fit lots of stuff. Therefore, people should love minivans. So why are they despised so greatly? It seems the only reason is that vans are aesthetically the cardboard boxes of the road. But that doesn’t stop them from being some of the most functional vehicles on the road. Most of us need to be reminded that for most mortals, cars are a tool used to complete a specific task. As far as hauling (people, pets, or things), there are few options as cost effective, fuel efficient, and comfortable as a minivan. Often they also have decent tow ratings as well. That said, my conclusion that minivans are for folks other than parents whose kids play soccer is contradictory to the video above, where I prove this to be a mathematical fact.

7. Car Guys Don’t Lean On Cars

Are you wearing chainmail pants? If that’s the case, you most certainly should not be providing your legs with some downtime on your ride’s clear coat. A car’s paint job is made to last through rain, snow, salty air, light hail, dirt, debris, and whatever else the road throws at it with proper maintenance. And you think resting your cloth pants on your own car is a bad idea? What are you going to tell me next, I can’t hug it either? Apparently car guys are into bedazzled pants these days, because I simply can’t understand this argument.

This all came about after I posted my interview with Sung Kang from SEMA 2015. It’s his car. He paid for it. He’s allowed to lean on it! Also check out the best moments from his AMA on Car Throttle.

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