Hatchback Owners Close Their Boots 'Wrong' And It Drives Me Mad

I want to tell the world how to close hatchback boots properly, and I don't care how pedantic that sounds...
Hatchback Owners Close Their Boots 'Wrong' And It Drives Me Mad

As someone who’s deeply pedantic, I’m easily annoyed by many things that people do wrong. And when it comes to cars, one of my most significant annoyances stems from how people close their boot. Or ‘trunk’, if you’re of a more ‘Murican persuasion.

Specifically, I’m talking about hatchback-style tailgates. Everyone I’ve ever seen, and most people I’ve asked in the CT office - many of whom were happy to answer after saying things like “what a preposterously boring question” - simply push down on the outside of the boot until it’s closed. Which would be fine, if there wasn’t a better way that the entire world seems to - infuriatingly - be ignoring.

Pop the boot of your average hatchback, and you should be presented with one or more grab handles. All you have to do is hook your hand inside, pull the boot down and then let go - the weight of the boot will do the rest.

Et voila - you’ve now closed your boot without getting your smudgy fingerprints all over the bodywork. Even better, you’ve not made the layer of dust/muck on the outside of your car look more obvious, nor have you got a load of dirt on your fingers.

Admittedly, some are a little ergonomically challenged, and there are tailgates (the one on ‘our’ Hyundai i30 N springs to mind) that need such a slam to shut, that pawing the outside is unavoidable. But still, the boot grab handle is a simple and effective piece of design, yet it goes unloved.

Do people not know what they’re for? Are most folk just too lazy to bother using them? Am I a sad man who should worry about more important things? Wait, don’t answer that…

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Comments

Anonymous

I walk up on to the bonnet, stand on the roof and kick the boot down. How do you like them apples?

08/15/2018 - 08:07 |
36 | 0
Anonymous

My car has no boot handle…

08/15/2018 - 16:17 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

Ahh but what if you have an E46 compact with extra strong boot struts that are meant to open the boot when you press the button on your key fob. The weight of the boot will come crashing back up into your face so long as the struts are still good (which most aren’t in fairness)

08/16/2018 - 03:32 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

In my case I don’t have any handles but the hatch hangs low enough where I can use my wrists to push it down as I still don’t want to get fingerprints on it

08/16/2018 - 11:03 |
0 | 0
Zeberge
08/18/2018 - 22:30 |
0 | 0
D13H4RD2L1V3

I’m sorry, but I just use the actual liftgate/hatch. Why?

I’m just too damn tall to the point where the grab handle is placed uncomfortably low.

08/19/2018 - 09:04 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

This is so true, frequententy annoys the living day lights out of me that people never use the handles that are there for a reason.

08/19/2018 - 10:56 |
0 | 0
Thibault Fèvre

some cars have a lash, practical for small ladies :)

08/19/2018 - 18:40 |
0 | 0
Thibault Fèvre

also, I think just like you Matt, all that fingerprints on cars made me made

08/19/2018 - 18:42 |
0 | 0
Carlos Morteo

My car doesn’t have those handles, nor airbags, ABS or electrical equipment :)

09/06/2018 - 00:55 |
0 | 0