If You Don’t Own A £4,000 Porsche Surfboard, Is Your Life Even Complete?

Picture the scene: you’re puttering up to the beachfront car park in your classic air-cooled Porsche 911. You’re probably somewhere painfully cool, like Santa Barbara, or Cap Ferret, or Byron Bay – the effect might not be as strong in, say, Bridlington.

You pull up, kill the engine, and take your surfboard off your period-correct chrome roof rack. Yes, you do in fact live inside an Instagram post. But something’s missing: “Why, oh why,” you think to yourself, “isn’t my beautiful handmade surfboard colour-matched to the authentically-patinated Bahama Yellow paintwork on my 1967 911T?”

Well, luckily for you, there’s now a way to fill this huge, gaping hole in your life. Porsche has unveiled a range of limited-edition surfboards, made in collaboration with Californian company Almond, which can be finished in a range of vintage Porsche colours.

Those are a trio of hues that were mainstays of the German marque’s 1960s output: Irish Green, Bahama Yellow, and Polo Red. Or, if motorsport’s more your jam, you can also get them in the famous ‘Pink Pig’ livery used by the 917/20 at Le Mans in 1971.

There are two versions available: the 7’ 10’’ ‘Cash-Yew II’ and the 9’ 11’’ (hey! That’s a Porsche!) ‘Surf Thumper’. In addition to choosing your colour, you can also add a personalised racing number to sit in the roundel included as part of the design. Your board will then be meticulously hand-crafted by the particularly gnarly artisans in Almond’s California workshop – would you honestly expect anything less?

We assume that if you’re the kind of person with a vintage 911 that you’re prepared to pair with a matching surfboard, you’ll have no problem with the cost: $4500 for the shorter board, and $5500 for the longboi – around £3400 and £4200 at current rates. Frankly, considering they’re a) beautifully handmade surfboards and b) official Porsche tie-ins, that’s… kinda cheap.

At any rate, can you really put a price on making that hazy, yellow-tinted Instagram post that tiny bit more perfect? You’ll need to be quick, though – only 200 boards will be made, and if your 911 is Bali Blue, we’re afraid you’re out of luck. Poor you.