It's Official: Speed Bumps Are Terrible For The Environment And Need To Die

Most of us probably consider speed bumps to be a nuisance, and at worst something which can cause a fair bit of damage to certain kinds of car. Stancers, and people who daily track cars, I’m looking at you. However, they’re even more evil than we might have otherwise thought.

According to the UK’s National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), speed bumps either need to be completely redesigned from their current forms, or be removed entirely to promote smoother, more economical driving. As it stands, speed bumps are causing drivers to accelerate and decelerate constantly, making a hefty contribution to air pollution - something which kills 25,000 people every year in this country alone.

An end to all speed bumps? Sign us up. But, before you get ahead of yourselves, you may not appreciate all of Nice’s recommendations. It’s advising a drop in the speed limit from 70 to 50mph on certain stretches of motorway, and is calling for more 20mph zones in residential areas. And yes, cameras are likely to be used for enforcement, should the government take heed of Nice’s report.

Elsewhere, Nice also suggests avoiding having cycle paths near busy roads - or using foliage as a screen where it’s unavoidable - and moving living rooms to the rear of houses in polluted areas.