New Leon: Clean Lines, Alfa Behind

There are three things blokes look for in a lady. 1) A good upbringing 2) Low running costs and 3) A great arse for him to gain respect from his fellow peoples in a gentleman’s establishment.

While we know this to be true in the literal sense, Seat’s gone a step further by applying the treasured triple to its new Leon, which we saw in the flesh a few hours ago at the Paris motor show. And I think we’re all in agreement that this is a solid 8/10.

So let’s talk it through quickly. The first bit of good news (which you know already) is that the Leon sits on the same platform as the new Golf and Audi A3. Despite this, however, prices for the Leon start from £15,670, which will prove considerably cheaper than its brothers. Bonus.

Add the fact that Seat’s clearly got a penchant for the Alfa Romeo Brera, and what do you get? Yup, a decent-looking arse. Cue pervy bum shots…

Improvements have also been made under the hood, including jacking up the 2.0-litre diesel’s power by over 20 ponies to 182bhp (0-62mph in 7.5sec, 142mph foot buried) and including another road tax free oil burner in the line-up (that’s all to do with low C02 emissions, which is terribly dull but good for the wallet).

Of course everyone’s favourite FR badge is back, too, which adds pimpin’ wheels, bodykit, window tints, twin exhausts and the obligatory flat-bottomed handle bars.

Sales of the new Leon start from the beginning of October, ahead of the car hitting shelves in March.

Oh, and before we go, here’s a nice nugget of information: that hotter 182bhp oil-burner offers more torque than a Porsche Cayman R…#BitchSlap