Say Hello To 'My' New BMW M340d Touring (AKA The Best New Car On Sale)

If there’s one thing I’m known for, it’s my love of unreliable shitboxes. I embrace this enthusiasm, but in reality, living with these cars can be tricky. That’s why we had to buy a daily driver for my daily driver after the former’s starter motor packed up. The replacement - a BMW 316i Compact - has been great, but it’s being transformed as we speak into a fan-built car with a purple and green chameleon wrap. And because I’m now on the wrong side of 35, I’m unsure I’ll be able to pull off such a strong look…

With these factors in mind, I decided that now was as good a time as any to experience something new, something reliable, and something that doesn’t scream ‘TikTok yoof’.

And so, I aimed squarely for the one car that covers all bases: the BMW M340d Touring. Website Editor Matt referred to it as “as close to a perfect all-rounder as we’ll probably ever get in the motoring world” when he drove it a few months ago, and this is the same sentiment I’d use after 300 miles as its new ‘owner’ (although this is a loan from BMW for four months).

Despite only being a week into this ‘ownership’, I’ve genuinely loved every mile. The cabin is plush and quiet, gesture control is not the gimmick I expected to hate, fuel economy is excellent, power and torque are awesome (345bhp, 512lb ft), and this is a car that gets a lot of looks for all the right reasons; seriously, wherever I’ve been, people stop and stare, presumably because it whiffs of undercover cop car, or maybe because it’s so smart-looking that people are simply drawn in to its laser eyes…

Either way, I love driving and having this car on my driveway, and no matter how much traffic, or how hectic the surroundings, I know that my stress levels won’t ever rise, such is the effect of this cocooning cabin.

But enough gushing, this is me showing you the car for the first time, so let’s look at the specs: the base price of the BMW M340d Touring is £49,570 all in, onto which we’ve got Tanzanite Blue metallic (£1100) and BMW Individual Ivory White Full Merino leather (£2750).

Then, there are options including Visibility Pack (laser lights) and Technology Pack which will set you back £1500 and £1900 respectively. Add to that Shadowline Plus, Premium Pack (including Pano roof) Comfort Pack and aluminium inserts, and the grand total for the car you see here is £61,645.

Expensive? You bet! But for a car that many - including me - often refer to as ‘the best new car currently on sale’, I don’t think that’s unreasonable given the quality, performance and cop car sleeper points on offer.

Like I said earlier, I’ve got the M340d Touring for a few months, and will be doing a few cool things with it, including track driving and taking it to the most northerly point of England in a couple of weeks.

And now over to you: what would you like to see me do with the car, what do you want to know, and should I see how many people I can pull over in one night? (Actually, forget I said that). I’ll be interested to hear what questions you want answering about what is very probably the best new car on the market.