The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson
After captivating the car world with his top 10 cars of the year, Clarkson has now provided us with the ‘stinkers’ of the past 12 months, with a couple of surprises thrown into the mix.
Vauxhall Astra SRi NAV
Clarkson had very little to write about the little turbocharged Vauxhall in his Sunday Times article and only gave it the title of ‘a place to sit down when moving around’. If there’s one thing that JC hates, it’s a bland, unemotional driving experience.
Infiniti Q30 Premium Tech
Clarkson found the Infiniti’s diesel engine completely gutless, claiming that its only use was to ‘convert diesel into noise’ rather than lumps of torque. Despite the handsome mini-SUV’s looks, his conclusion was the Q30 was ‘a mess’.
Skoda Superb SE L Executive
Jeremy again found it difficult to come up with any words to describe the Skoda and after a long drive up the M1, he concluded that the Superb was ‘average’ and ‘not good enough’ to warrant any form of compliment.
Zenos E10 S
He admitted that the Zenos was one hell of a quick car due to an incredible power-to-weight ratio. But without a roof, he described the exhaust note as resembling ‘a fat man who’s using Victorian plumbing to flush away the after-effects of a particularly enormous dinner’.
But the killer for Clarkson was the brakes which he somehow likened to ‘the turd in the swimming pool’.
Renault Kadjar dCi 130 Signature Nav
‘No one is going to yearn for the day they own a Kadjar’ wrote Clarkson, and I’m sure we can all agree. The Qashqai-based SUV was yet another beige alternative for motoring and JC even admitted that you should go for the Google autonomous car over the Renault. Damn, that thing must be bad!
BMW X1 xDrive25d
Despite the huge success of the X1 crossover, the ex-Top Gear presenter was severely disappointed with the four-wheel drive system and said it hadn’t moved on from the previous generation car which ‘resembled a cement mixer.’
He also hated the painfully lacklustre powertrain, that ‘left the line about as enthusiastically as its designer got out of bed in the morning’.
Seat Leon X-Perience SE Technology
Mr Clarkson was as brutal as ever with his stunning review of this Seat…
‘I’m grateful to Seat for lending me this car because it reinforces every belief I’ve held about Seat’s cars. They’re a waste of time’. JC is savage af.
Nissan GT-R Track Edition
Despite the standard GTR being a five-star car in his eyes, the Track Edition had taken the Nissan from hero to zero through the eyes of Clarkson. Due to an extremely stiff suspension setup, Clarkson described the GTR as ‘useless, as driving over a manhole cover gives you some idea of what it might be like to be involved in a plane crash’.
Volkswagen Scirocco 2.0 TDI
Clarkson’s first car was an original VW Scirocco and he loved it, so when the latest edition came out, he wasn’t keen on driving it at all and wrote it is ‘better to keep love from the past as a memory’.
Unfortunately for him, the keys were forced into his hand and he wrote that ‘it stalls a lot. Doubtless for reasons that have a lot to do with the polar bear, this diesel engine needs a bootful of revs before you can even think about setting off’.
He also hated the looks and was completely uninspired by the gutless exhaust note.
Hyundai i800
Yet again using his metaphors to catastrophic effect, Clarkson slammed the Korean car to a whole new level.
‘The Hyundai i800 is worse than that parasite that burrows into children’s eyes. It’s worse than the cubicle on a hot army base with a D&V outbreak. It’s worse than trying on trousers, even. I would rather apply sun cream to James May’s back than travel again in a Hyundai i800’.
Judging by those words, its safe to say that you should probably stay away from the i800 at your next car rental desk!
Do you agree with his choices, or have have you driven any of these cars and have a different opinion?
Comments
So basically he doesnt like suv’s
well if you look at his top 10 cars list there is an SUV in there, so i guess he just doesnt like these SUVs for some reason
“The Hyundai i800 is worse than that parasite that burrows into children’s eyes. It’s worse than the cubicle on a hot army base with a D&V outbreak. It’s worse than trying on trousers, even. I would rather apply sun cream to James May’s back than travel again in a Hyundai i800”.
That small paragraphy is worthy of Shakespeare’s full works.
I couldn’t agree more with his opinion on this one. Here in Australia, it’s called the iLoad or as I like to call it, the iTurd. The only thing worse than driving one, is owning one. It’s not fun when the engine blows up three times in four years.
But..but…the GTR is the best car ever
JC’s first car wasn’t a Scirocco, it was a Cortina 1600E with some Cibies and a wooden dash.
Funny though. Just came back from a 4 hour trip, after helping my father trying out the x1. “on that bombshell”
i’ve had zero experience with any of these, so i can’t pass judgment on them
My father has a 1999 Astra F 1.6i, without the turbochargers, which I think play a major role into ruining the driving experience, and also the newer Opel/Vauxhall interiors aren’t the best out there, but to be honest, they never were. The overall practicality might be fixed, but looks have stayed where they started. At the bottom. Except for the Astra F, which is pretty pleasant even tho it doesn’t look special. But practicallity is awful. Only two cupholders in the glovebox and side door bins that would fail Carbuyer’s “big bottle” test. The only thing you can fit in those is a toothpick. And you’d have to squeeze it in! And as it is a 1.6l petrol with a 5 speed manual and at 1110kg it’s pretty light, it still gets beaten in fuel economy by a 3.0 petrol long wheelbase 7 series that has 1.7 tons. And it has shown rust on almost every panel. Even the key will start to rust.
Now just waiting for the GTR fanboys
I know that JC has years and years of expierience with cars and overall automotive journalism but whoa, I think that’s too much. All of these statements are just his opinions and I won’t take any of this for granted untill I sit in one of these cars and expirience them my way. And the way this article is put I start to be thinking that Clarkson is considered a god in CT office. I mean, I love this guy even though I may sound butthurt or whatever but I think this is just that tiny bit too much.
I agree with you that he is basically considered to be a god on Car Throttle. But he does have the right to express his opinions on cars, negative or positive. And of course, nobody ever said you have to take his
word for it.
JC is, more than an auto critic, an entertainer. And that’s how I see his articles and public interventions. And anyway, it’s an opinion.
I will buy or use what I find more suitable to my needs at a specific time, regardless of what others think or understand. I’m the one only who needs to get myself satisfied (well that might’ve come out wrong).
I love the new Astra