What Would You Do With This Brand New 1991 VW Passat?

New cars are more annoying than they’ve ever been. Intrusive ADAS systems, difficult-to-use screens, massive weight that dulls the sensations of driving – all of it can sour the experience of brand new metal these days. Problem is, if you want something without all these irritations, it means going used – or does it?

This 1991 VW Passat is technically a second-hand car, with two previous owners. However, between them (plus whatever was racked up when the car was originally delivered), they’ve accrued a grand total of… 791 miles.

We don’t know why two separate people felt the need to perfectly preserve a run-of-the-mill family saloon from the early 1990s, but we’re glad they did, because this is now something of a time capsule.

It’s a third-generation B3 Passat, a model produced between 1988 and 1993 and notable for its snub-nosed styling that makes it look a bit like a cross between a Ford Sierra and an English bull terrier.

This one has the 2.0-litre eight-valve four-cylinder petrol engine with a rip-snorting 113bhp and 122lb ft of torque, sent to the front wheels via a five-speed manual. That meant 0-62mph in around 12.9 seconds and a top speed of 115mph. At least it’ll probably still reliably do those figures, given the engine’s not exactly lived a hard life.

More importantly, this one’s a GL model, bestowing it with some kit that would have given its original driver serious outside-lane-of-the-M40 credibility if it had lived the life as a sales rep hack that most of these did. Check out the leather seats and steering wheel, rear spoiler, heated rear screen and fold-down rear armrest. Oh yeah. It even has the optional uprated Blaupunkt stereo through which you can blast the greatest hits of Enya, Moby and Salt ‘n’ Pepa.

As you’d kind of hope, its most recent MOT test, conducted just this month, resulted in a first-time pass with no advisories. It did rack up another entire mile on the way back from the test centre, though, so watch out for any extra wear and tear acquired on that arduous journey.

It’s up for auction on Collecting Cars now. The auction ends on Wednesday 19 March, and as we write this the preceding Thursday, bidding is up to £1300. We have frankly no idea how much it could go for, nor what we’d do with it if we were the lucky winning bidder. We’re still kind of tempted, though.