Twas The Night Before Christmas- Petrolhead Edition

Me and Alaskan Driving will both post versions of this beloved poem. Commenting your approval of your favorite poem is HIGHLY encouraged!

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the garage
All was silent, not even a Top Gear montage
The stockings were hung by the door with hopes
That they’d be filled with duct tape and tow ropes

Me and bae slept all tucked in our beds
With visions of track days dancing in their heads
I wore my racing suit and my girl with her stig shirt
We slept peacefully, knowing the ricers are butthurt

When out on the road I heard lots of noise
Surely a drifter was demonstrating his poise
I got out of my car and ran to the front door
and I picked up the keys that lay on the floor

I opened the front door and then watched with a jig
Because the people who were drifting was none other than Santa and the Stig
They were hooning in a red Camaro and Mustang
It was they who for the noise were to blame

Closely followed by them was a long drift train
Why it was the 8 reindeer driving along, it was insane!
All the reindeer drifted, doing it in different cars
With many car sounds ascending to the stars
BRAAAAAP STUTUUTUTU
VROOOOOOOM VROOOOOM
BWAAAAAHHH
wa wa wa wa WAAAAA psh WAAAAA psh WAAAA (clearly moog)

The christmas drift train had all kinds of cars
JDM, Euro, Muscle and a car from Mars
They slammed on the brakes and came to a halt
Their cars sat idling on the snowy asphalt

Santa and Stig got out and opened the car’s trunk
Santa got out his bag and closed it with a clunk
I watched silently as they walked up to my house
I was as silent as could be, more silent than a mouse

They suddenly vanished like ghosts, it was such a sensation
I booked it to my garage, holding grand expectations
As I entered it and saw what had happened there
I just stopped and stupidly stared

My cars was wearing some BBS wheels
But there was more, and oh the feels!
It was idling and I heard a turbo whistle
It was like a girl was kissing me under the mistle
I walked up to see the interior all decked out
Bride seats, Momo steering wheel, this was cool without a doubt
And then, just to top everything off
I saw on my car a titanium tipped exhaust

I ran up and hugged both Stig and Santa
“I love these gifts!” I said and Stig said “Well, DUH!”
I was taken aback to hear the Stig speak
I was so emotional I let out a squeak

I had so many questions to ask, but I picked one
I said “Stig, Santa, why did you come?”
They smiled and laughed and said joyusly
“We must bring Christmas to car guys, don’t you see?”

They started to vanish and smiled and waved
I started to cry, I just couldn’t behave
Before they vanished, they did stop and say
“Merry Car Guy Christmas, have fun with your sleigh!”