Used Hero Review: BMW 840Ci Sport V8
Pros
Cons
Is it fast?
Well, sort of, in a lazy way. There's a big, grunty 4.4-litre V8 up front that produces 286bhp, but the 8-series is a lardy beast, weighing 1.9 tonnes. Combined with the lazy five-speed automatic and the engine's laid-back power delivery, it means that the 840 never feels electrifying. However, stick your toe in and it will serve up a reasonably juicy glob of torque. 0-60mph comes up in 7.0 seconds in 'auto form, or 6.6sec with the manual. Top speed? A very respectable and electronically-limited 155mph.
Is it sexy?
Yes. And it just keeps getting better with age. Looks are probably the 8's finest USP, with one of the sharkiest of BMW's sharky front ends; a suave, pillarless window line; a fat, squared-off rump and subtly boxed arches. In this Sport form it also gets a tasteful colour-coded bodykit, and when fitted with BMW's factory split-rim cross-spokes, as here, it looks seriously classy. And if you still need convincing, it's got pop-up headlights. 'Nuff said.
What's it like to drive?
This Sport version got slightly stiffer dampers which does make the ride a touch on the firm side, but not uncomfortably so; the payoff being excellent body control. There's loads of grip from those whopping tyres, too – eight inches wide at the front and nine at the back, to be precise. The steering's a bit vague, though, and not exactly confidence inspiring, and the brakes need a good, firm shove. Combined with the rather sluggish automatic 'box, the overall impression is of a car that's much happier on a fast, sweeping A-road or a cross-continental blat than being hustled down a niggly back route or chucked around out on track.
It's a big GT, in other words, and it does its job in that regard very well. What's always enjoyable, is the big V8's exhaust note; a bassy, fluffy gurgle that takes on a Nascar-esque edge when it's poked with a stick. The 840 might not be the most dynamically engaging thing in the world, but the combination of its noise and looks mean it makes up for that with a fantastic sense of drama.
How about the inside?
Our car's upholstered with cream leather, which came as standard with a brown dash top. The 8 is a cracking place to find yourself; there are some great retro touches, like the twiddly analogue climate control dials. The way the dash rakes around you means you feel properly ensconced in the car, too, and those pillarless doors mean cranking the windows down and opening up the roof give you an almost convertible-like open-air experience. The seats are comfortable, and with their mad integrated seatbelt and headrest arrangement, they look awesome.
Will my mates rate it?
Probably. For some it'll have an overhanging whiff of of crinky, orange old men with white hair, but for most the 8 is a pretty cool old thing these days. Heads turn as you rumble down the street in it, and the air of late '80s-style braces'n'filofax wealth it carries with it means it still looks expensive and desirable.
Can I afford it?
Probably not. Oh, you'll be able to buy one without too much trouble as a daggy 8 can be had for around £3,000 these days, as we've already discussed, and a decent example goes for about £7,000. The chunky bills come when it needs servicing or repair, though – parts are stupendously pricey, even non-genuine, and the cost of replacing the optional electronic adaptive suspension system will give you cause to choke on your cereal.
Show me three alternatives
If a wafty GT is what you're after, the Jaguar XK8 knows the territory. Ignore the standard Jag old man jibes and you'll end up with a slinky V8-powered cracker. Generally, you'll get more for your money with one of these, though they can be a little creakier than the big BM. This one looks a good'un, though.
The R129 SL reeks of '90s affluence, and only comes as a soft-top, so prices are generally higher. You'll have to sacrifice your big V8 for a V6 if you want one for the same money, so it won't be as quick as the 840, but if you're feeling plutocratic, then nothing else will do. Here's a clean-looking example.
The biggest threat to the 840 comes from within its own stable – the E39 BMW M5. OK, so you lose the rakish looks and pop-up headlights, but gain stonking performance, exceptional handling, and buckets more driver involvement. This one might have a slightly dodgy interior colour scheme, but at this price, who's complaining?
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