Lexus IS-F Review: Best Sounding Saloon Ever?

Under the hood

Is it childish to start a car review with a short game of word association? Yes? Good. So what springs to mind when I hit you with "Audi RS4" and "Mercedes C63 AMG"? If your answer was David Hasselhoff, you lose. If your answer was "BMW M3" then you're close. And of course, if your answer was the Lexus IS-F (and as you're currently reading this, it should've been) then you're on the money.

Because this usually subdued Japanese brand decided to neck a few naughty pills from Doctor Phil's cupboard to produce a car that's so far out of character, it's a miracle they didn't field a call from Joey Barton's Parisian PR.

Under the bonnet is a 5.0-litre engine (which matches the displacement of the BMW E60 M5) in V8 guise. The IS-F churns out 417bhp and a healthy 317lb ft of torque, and will venture up to a top canter of 168mph.

Behind the wheel

Does this make the IS-F the fastest thing with four wheels and four doors? Not quite. But it does make a change from all the hybrid-shmybrid chatter that the brand has spouted at the press in recent times. And I have to admit, there's something in that rebellious nature I dig.

Tickle the drilled, metal, accelerator with your right foot and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. A waft of engine note and a whoosh of acceleration are the only onomatopoeic words you'll be able to extract from your experience. As a slow-speed cruiser, the Lexus is up there with the best (Germans of course) and any driver who doesn't relish a serene ride in an easily-soiled white leather cabin with multi-adjustable everything clearly has vertebrae gifted from the Terminator himself.

Hammer the hammer (I just went there), and all hell breaks loose. Above 3600rpm, a second intake opens and unto the cabin is unleashed a noise the likes of which you'll have never experienced before. Some liken it to Zeus farting, others to the Hulk awakening (cough Lemar). I like to think of it as more of an electronic argument between husband and wife as to who gets to pick the kids up from school. Shotgun wins.

Through the bendy bits, the IS-F shows it's shortcomings. Despite being able to get to 62mph in 4.8 seconds, the sheer weight of the vehicle means this super-saloon struggles to settle itself. On damp roads, the computers flail around trying to find traction - a true power struggle - and the result is a constantly flashing orange light on the dash. But a Hans Zimmer-esque accompanying soundtrack.

On British roads, you'll be able to muller anything in your way. Slow octogenarians in a Honda Jazz, check. Farmer Giles in his combine harvester, check. In your plush cabin, the only things you'll wish for are an updated set of electronics (the touchscreen harks from a Freddy Flinstone era) and an Uncle on the board of Shell (20mpg at the best of times).

Splash the cash?

At £58,416 on the road, the IS-F is up against it. The M3 costs about the same but has a limited slip differential for better traction out of corners. The RS4... just kidding. And the C63 gives you a more raucous exhaust note and carries the German badge of approval.

As the IS-F is now ancient in the always-moving world of performance saloons, I can't recommend it anymore than I recommend you splurging the recommended retail price on an iPhone 3GS. But if the new IS is anything to go by, the forthcoming flagship super saloon is going to be an absolute cracker.

Japan, let's be having you!