Nissan Juke Nismo Review: Wannabe Street Racers Rejoice

Under the hood

Nismo - Nissan Motorsport for the confused - loves a good fiddle. That fiddling used to be confined to shoving a stick of dynamite up the arse of the brand's sports cars and turning them into menacing machines, capable of mowing down any European hot hatch between the lights.

If you've ever played Gran Turismo on PlayStation, you'll know what I'm harping on about.

So after the raging success of the Juke-R, it was only a matter of time before the Nismo nerds turned their sights towards the standard Juke.

Stickers, red wing mirrors, red trim and lush alcantara goodness aside, there's been some wizardry under the bonnet. Power is up 10bhp on the standard Juke, bringing the total to 197 horses from the moderately-sized 1.6-litre petrol engine. Nothing to shout about, eh? But like any sporty hatch, it's the way the Juke Nismo uses this power which appeals to the inner street racer (not that I would endorse any street racing, of course, ahem).

Behind the wheel

Fire up the Juke Nismo and you're greeted with a puppy-dog growl. It's got nothing on the firm's flagship GT-R, but it'll certainly peak your interest, urging you to plant your right driving shoe (I'm currently a Nike man) to the floor.

You'll then learn two things: 1) That the Juke Nismo accelerates briskly and with only a touch of scrabbly, torque steer and 2) That it's surprisingly a damn good drive.

I say surprising, as the car's irregular (okay, ugly) shape means that it has a high centre-of-gravity. And whilst we're talking ugly, why on God's earth can I see 6, yes 6, front-facing lamps? Old me would've written the Nismo off as a sure porker through the corners.

How wrong I was. At under 1,500kg, the Juke Nismo is still light and has enough power to launch itself forward with moderate ease, accompanied by a whiny, induction-sucking noise. The 6-speed manual transmission, whilst without a short throw 'box, is precise. And while the brakes need a fraction more bite, in the bendy bits, there's less bodyroll on the Juke Nismo than on a 90s Gary Barlow.

Splash the cash?

£19,995 is the amount of moolah that'll buy you this Nuke Jismo (try saying "Nissan Juke Nismo" 100 times without slipping up). Which makes this car with 5 seats, 5 doors and plenty of punch, a relative bargain. Or, you could wait a few more months to purchase a Juke Nismo "RS" - which at the moment takes the form of a development prototype I managed to get my hands on and which gets an even bigger thumbs up.

There's just no getting round the Juke's body shape. So if you're concerned about your 'swagger', your 'street cred' or your ability to 'pickup', I'd recommend you wait until the next Nismo product is released.

Brace yourselves, people. A Nissan 370Z Nismo this way comes.