10 Horrifically Ironic Car Names
1. Suzuki Esteem
‘Esteem’? Really?
2. Kia Pride
Kias are great cars these days, but this box of misery from the 90s isn’t something you’d take ‘Pride’ in.
3. Suzuki Swift
Yes, I know there have been fast Suzuki Swifts - you can still buy the Swift Sport, and the older Cultus-related Swifts even had GTI editions - but most are really, really slow. Does 0-60mph in 17.4 seconds sound ‘Swift’ to you?
4. Skoda Rapid
On a similar theme to the Swift, we have the Rapid from Skoda. And with the post powerful putting out a mere 120bhp from a 1.4-litre engine, ‘rapid’ it ain’t. Then there’s the old Rapid, which manages to puff out just 54bhp from its carbureted 1.3-litre engine.
5. Oldsmobile Achieva
As so well put by CTzen CLShifter, this car “achieved nothing bar accelerating the death of Oldsmobile.”
6. Daewoo Racer
The Daewoo Racer is the ironic gift that keeps on giving. It’s another name occasionally given for the ambitiously titled Daewoo ‘Le Mans’, a car which was sometimes called the ‘Heaven’. If this is what heaven looks like, sign me up to hell right now.
OK, so this one’s a brand name and not a model, but still: ‘Brilliance’ was not a word that came to mind when watching the BS6 fold like paper during this 2007 crash test.
8. Mitsubishi Carisma
I genuinely can’t think of a car with less charisma than this.
9. Mini Countryman
The Mini brand as a whole got a lot of mentions on our original community question, but since the whole supermini sector it’s aiming for has gotten rather bloated (just compare a first-gen Ford Fiesta with the current one and you’ll see what I mean), we aren’t going to call the BMW subsidiary out for its mildly ironic use of the word ‘mini’.
However, where it is stretched too far (figuratively and literally) is when the name Mini is applied to the definitely not mini Countryman. And just look at it. Not exactly an oil painting, is it?
10. Hyundai Excel
Here’s a car that doesn’t excel at anything. Other than being dull.
Any more you can think of? Get to the comments!
Growing up on a diet of World Rally Championship highlights and lengthy Gran Turismo 2 sessions, a life in cars was as good as inevitable for Matt.
Comments
The Mitsubishi Lettuce. For Vegetarians (no offense)
How about Kia Sportage tho :)
Any thoughts of sportiness is an illusion lol
Thankfully in Australia that Daewoo is called the Cielo and not the Racer
In Germany its Opel Kadett and got the GSI Edition. That Thing is kinda fast
The Ford Fiesta. It does not seem like a party in the slightest. Or the Hyundai Veloster. Veloster makes it sound fast and cool, yet the non turbo are slow as heck
It does not seem like you have ever driven one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdRRWtxjuQc
in French, “Vélo” means “bicycle”, it’s probably more accurate.
Even if carisma has no carisma, yhe car is genuinely good, i’ve owned one (sold it a month ago) reliable, efficient and quite quick tbh….mom once scared me when she floored that thing xD
the Suzuki Esteem sedan at #1 is also known as Suzuki Baleno in Indonesia
Ayy
Daihatsu Sportrak anyone?
#10 Hyundai Excel - Designed by those who enjoy spreadsheets more than cars.
Daewoo Racer GTI, and Tacuma were our family’s first and second cars they were fun
What about the Alfa Romeo 8c Compentitzione? Because nobody is going to put it in a competition.