10 Horrifically Ironic Car Names
1. Suzuki Esteem
‘Esteem’? Really?
2. Kia Pride
Kias are great cars these days, but this box of misery from the 90s isn’t something you’d take ‘Pride’ in.
3. Suzuki Swift
Yes, I know there have been fast Suzuki Swifts - you can still buy the Swift Sport, and the older Cultus-related Swifts even had GTI editions - but most are really, really slow. Does 0-60mph in 17.4 seconds sound ‘Swift’ to you?
4. Skoda Rapid
On a similar theme to the Swift, we have the Rapid from Skoda. And with the post powerful putting out a mere 120bhp from a 1.4-litre engine, ‘rapid’ it ain’t. Then there’s the old Rapid, which manages to puff out just 54bhp from its carbureted 1.3-litre engine.
5. Oldsmobile Achieva
As so well put by CTzen CLShifter, this car “achieved nothing bar accelerating the death of Oldsmobile.”
6. Daewoo Racer
The Daewoo Racer is the ironic gift that keeps on giving. It’s another name occasionally given for the ambitiously titled Daewoo ‘Le Mans’, a car which was sometimes called the ‘Heaven’. If this is what heaven looks like, sign me up to hell right now.
OK, so this one’s a brand name and not a model, but still: ‘Brilliance’ was not a word that came to mind when watching the BS6 fold like paper during this 2007 crash test.
8. Mitsubishi Carisma
I genuinely can’t think of a car with less charisma than this.
9. Mini Countryman
The Mini brand as a whole got a lot of mentions on our original community question, but since the whole supermini sector it’s aiming for has gotten rather bloated (just compare a first-gen Ford Fiesta with the current one and you’ll see what I mean), we aren’t going to call the BMW subsidiary out for its mildly ironic use of the word ‘mini’.
However, where it is stretched too far (figuratively and literally) is when the name Mini is applied to the definitely not mini Countryman. And just look at it. Not exactly an oil painting, is it?
10. Hyundai Excel
Here’s a car that doesn’t excel at anything. Other than being dull.
Any more you can think of? Get to the comments!
Growing up on a diet of World Rally Championship highlights and lengthy Gran Turismo 2 sessions, a life in cars was as good as inevitable for Matt.
Comments
Nobody gonna mention the Subaru WRX STi?
Sti really was a poor choice in naming.
Anyone else sees Opel Kadett or is it just me?
Well, Daewoo Racer / Pontiac LeMans based on the 1984 Opel Kadett E (in UK Vauxhall Astra MK2). The Kadett was the Car Of The Year in 1985 and it was in production until 1991. The South Korean Daewoo Racer based on this modell and produced between 1986-1994 with much lower quality. I heard that the most of parts are NOT compatible with the Opel/Vauxhall ones. Other names of the Daewoo in different countries: Asüna GT, Asüna SE, Daewoo LeMans, Daewoo 1.5i, Daewoo Fantasy, Daewoo Pointer, Passport Optima, Pontiac LeMans
Toyota Isis who came up with that name
The people at Toyota development office… Referring to the Greek goddess Isis https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isis
in greece the first suzuki is called baleno….
Wait, you forgot to mention the Skoda Superb!
Zastava=Flag
really?
i own one but still not a fan
So glad you mentioned the Binis and the countryman is by far the worst offender.
Good job amongst the barrage of old content you’ve been reposting on fb for the last week at least.
Matt Robinson The post powerful rapid?
How about 2SEXY. Which isnt sexy at all.
Well, we can’t exactly go out and buy a 2SEXY, can we? But, yes: it is the opposite of sexy. It makes many a thing droop.
Wheres the fiat bravo?