10 Horrifically Ironic Car Names

1. Suzuki Esteem

‘Esteem’? Really?

2. Kia Pride

Kias are great cars these days, but this box of misery from the 90s isn’t something you’d take ‘Pride’ in.

3. Suzuki Swift

Yes, I know there have been fast Suzuki Swifts - you can still buy the Swift Sport, and the older Cultus-related Swifts even had GTI editions - but most are really, really slow. Does 0-60mph in 17.4 seconds sound ‘Swift’ to you?

4. Skoda Rapid

On a similar theme to the Swift, we have the Rapid from Skoda. And with the post powerful putting out a mere 120bhp from a 1.4-litre engine, ‘rapid’ it ain’t. Then there’s the old Rapid, which manages to puff out just 54bhp from its carbureted 1.3-litre engine.

5. Oldsmobile Achieva

As so well put by CTzen CLShifter, this car “achieved nothing bar accelerating the death of Oldsmobile.”

6. Daewoo Racer

The Daewoo Racer is the ironic gift that keeps on giving. It’s another name occasionally given for the ambitiously titled Daewoo ‘Le Mans’, a car which was sometimes called the ‘Heaven’. If this is what heaven looks like, sign me up to hell right now.

OK, so this one’s a brand name and not a model, but still: ‘Brilliance’ was not a word that came to mind when watching the BS6 fold like paper during this 2007 crash test.

8. Mitsubishi Carisma

I genuinely can’t think of a car with less charisma than this.

9. Mini Countryman

The Mini brand as a whole got a lot of mentions on our original community question, but since the whole supermini sector it’s aiming for has gotten rather bloated (just compare a first-gen Ford Fiesta with the current one and you’ll see what I mean), we aren’t going to call the BMW subsidiary out for its mildly ironic use of the word ‘mini’.

However, where it is stretched too far (figuratively and literally) is when the name Mini is applied to the definitely not mini Countryman. And just look at it. Not exactly an oil painting, is it?

10. Hyundai Excel

Here’s a car that doesn’t excel at anything. Other than being dull.

Any more you can think of? Get to the comments!