6 Golden Rules To Ensure Your Car's An Online Hit

Everyone knows that buying a car because you like it is not cool. What is cool is buying a car and modifying it in a way that'll get you tonnes of likes on the Internet! (Warning: the sarcasm in this post is off the scale!)

Satin blue m3 with loads of carbon.. #yiannimize #satinblue #bmw #m3 #carbon

A photo posted by Yianni Charalambous (@yiannimize) on

The wonderful thing about the Internet is the fact that we have all of human knowledge at our fingertips. Unfortunately that also means that you can spend hours every day looking at Ferraris and Lamborghinis and everything else inbetween, so when you see them in real life they lose some of that magic.

So if 458s are a dime a dozen, what hope does your ride have of making a splash? The best way to get noticed is to get the kind of ludicrous wrap you would never have repped before becoming social media famous was a thing.

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So you’ve made sure people can see you, but how do you let them know you’re coming well in advance? Get an obnoxiously loud exhaust, of course! The added advantage of such an exhaust is that you can cross social media platforms - the wrap gets you likes on Instagram, the exhaust videos will be shared on YouTube. And as we all know, cars sound at their best when sitting stationary with the owner banging into the red line for minutes on end.

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A loud exhaust isn’t always enough on its own. For those moments where you really want to make a scene, all you need is fire. If your car isn’t capable of doing this on its own, there are kits that you can fit to fix the problem. Just be careful kids, sometimes playing with fire can be dangerous. See, your mum was right.

4. Donuts and burnouts are always a good thing

6 Golden Rules To Ensure Your Car's An Online Hit

The more attention-grabbing your behaviour, the better, and there are few better ways to attract a crowd than by bouncing off the rev limiter and creating clouds of smoke. If you’re feeling ballsy, doing this in a crowded place has its risks, but the more reckless you are the more chance you have of become Internet famous, and that’s the best kind of famous, right? Just make sure you have an escape plan, because if it goes wrong then every petrolhead in the world will want to give you a good slap for giving them a bad name.

5. Buy something JDM

6 Golden Rules To Ensure Your Car's An Online Hit

If you want to make lots of friends on the Car Throttle app and become the most followed user since our very own hairdresser Alex Kersten, then get yourself something Japanese. The Mazda RX-7 is pretty hot right now, but you can’t go wrong with a Nissan S-chassis…

6. Slam your car to the ground

Image by Jourdan Smith/Flickr
Image by Jourdan Smith/Flickr

Once upon a time, driving a car that you could… you know… actually drive was considered cool, but nowadays it’s all about scrapin’. You might be tempted to go for a subtle drop, just enough to fill the arches a little better, but in an ideal world you want to be rubbing. You’ll get loads of respect, because only really cool kids sacrifice drivability for style.

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Comments

linuxfanatic

The E46 in the first pic actually looks kinda nice.

01/26/2016 - 00:03 |
2 | 0
Anonymous

Um I have racing exhaust that doesn’t make me a douche it make the engine worke or efficient just because it’s Lauder doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a purpose

01/26/2016 - 00:21 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

Remember that video where 2 R33 Skylines spiting flames in central London? All of the points above combined in one video.

01/26/2016 - 00:23 |
0 | 0
Dude

Have a BMW if posting to CT.

01/26/2016 - 00:49 |
0 | 0
nahuel luna

“how to be a internet wh0re”

01/26/2016 - 01:16 |
0 | 0
rally2727

Teach your kids the love of cars, and they’ll never have money for drugs. Teach them to stance/bag their car, and they’ll never go upper than the speed limit.

01/26/2016 - 02:06 |
4 | 0
FishRSA

“our very own hairdresser Alex Kersten” hahahahahahahabajhvsdhjahafbganagd

01/26/2016 - 03:03 |
1 | 0
Anonymous

Thank you for this. Number 6 is on fleek

01/26/2016 - 03:53 |
0 | 0
Dat muscle guy (Sam Stone)(Camaro Squad)(Die augen leader)(E

#7 Be Shmee 150

01/26/2016 - 06:43 |
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Anonymous

Welcome to Europe where 105hp 1600cmc BMWs have 245 section tires offset and widebody kits out of love for cars. They are great Instagram cars. They run the hot feed in seconds.

01/26/2016 - 07:05 |
0 | 0