6 Golden Rules To Ensure Your Car's An Online Hit

Everyone knows that buying a car because you like it is not cool. What is cool is buying a car and modifying it in a way that'll get you tonnes of likes on the Internet! (Warning: the sarcasm in this post is off the scale!)

Satin blue m3 with loads of carbon.. #yiannimize #satinblue #bmw #m3 #carbon

A photo posted by Yianni Charalambous (@yiannimize) on

The wonderful thing about the Internet is the fact that we have all of human knowledge at our fingertips. Unfortunately that also means that you can spend hours every day looking at Ferraris and Lamborghinis and everything else inbetween, so when you see them in real life they lose some of that magic.

So if 458s are a dime a dozen, what hope does your ride have of making a splash? The best way to get noticed is to get the kind of ludicrous wrap you would never have repped before becoming social media famous was a thing.

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So you’ve made sure people can see you, but how do you let them know you’re coming well in advance? Get an obnoxiously loud exhaust, of course! The added advantage of such an exhaust is that you can cross social media platforms - the wrap gets you likes on Instagram, the exhaust videos will be shared on YouTube. And as we all know, cars sound at their best when sitting stationary with the owner banging into the red line for minutes on end.

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A loud exhaust isn’t always enough on its own. For those moments where you really want to make a scene, all you need is fire. If your car isn’t capable of doing this on its own, there are kits that you can fit to fix the problem. Just be careful kids, sometimes playing with fire can be dangerous. See, your mum was right.

4. Donuts and burnouts are always a good thing

6 Golden Rules To Ensure Your Car's An Online Hit

The more attention-grabbing your behaviour, the better, and there are few better ways to attract a crowd than by bouncing off the rev limiter and creating clouds of smoke. If you’re feeling ballsy, doing this in a crowded place has its risks, but the more reckless you are the more chance you have of become Internet famous, and that’s the best kind of famous, right? Just make sure you have an escape plan, because if it goes wrong then every petrolhead in the world will want to give you a good slap for giving them a bad name.

5. Buy something JDM

6 Golden Rules To Ensure Your Car's An Online Hit

If you want to make lots of friends on the Car Throttle app and become the most followed user since our very own hairdresser Alex Kersten, then get yourself something Japanese. The Mazda RX-7 is pretty hot right now, but you can’t go wrong with a Nissan S-chassis…

6. Slam your car to the ground

Image by Jourdan Smith/Flickr
Image by Jourdan Smith/Flickr

Once upon a time, driving a car that you could… you know… actually drive was considered cool, but nowadays it’s all about scrapin’. You might be tempted to go for a subtle drop, just enough to fill the arches a little better, but in an ideal world you want to be rubbing. You’ll get loads of respect, because only really cool kids sacrifice drivability for style.

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Comments

Sayan

I turn more heads that that R8 did. lol. poor fella.

01/26/2016 - 09:28 |
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Anonymous

The way I let people know I am coming :D

01/26/2016 - 09:46 |
1 | 1
Jack I'Anson

What’s with all the modification hate on CT?
I thought we all had our own minds here? If someone wants to make their supercar spit flames, then why not? An R34 spitting flames with an anti lag system doesn’t get sarcasm so why does a supercar? In terms of the ‘rubbing’ issue, that’s a current trend… The car is still driveable (Yes if it’s static then not really but air suspension has been a real revelation for the past few years now) In the early 2000’s people made some bad choices in terms of modifications (I’m looking at you bright paintwork and ‘tasteful’ neons) but that was what people did then. I know this post is sarcastic and I’m a great user of sarcasm myself, I just expected CT to be a little more open minded with it’s writing and message, what happened to building a car because it’s how you wanted it to be? It feels as if you’re suggesting everyone who performs modifications that aren’t to your liking, should be laughed upon.
I’m not Angry CT… just disappointed.

01/26/2016 - 10:14 |
3 | 0

Most people here are under the age of 16 so they hate anything that doesn’t look like their perfect forza car since they don’t know what it’s like to own a car yet lol! It’s just a phase bro

01/26/2016 - 10:21 |
1 | 0

I agree with jack.

01/26/2016 - 17:19 |
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sammaz

I have no idea, whether this article is serious or sarcastic…

01/26/2016 - 14:45 |
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BNRKAY

Buy a Skyline and show it on Instagram

01/26/2016 - 15:33 |
1 | 1
K24_Kid

7.) have absolutely no idea on…
a. what your car is
b. how to drive said car

01/26/2016 - 21:51 |
0 | 0