Top 7 "Nappers"

You’re probably wondering what a napper is. Well, I wouldn’t blame you, because it’s an idea that I just came up with in my bored stupor. But you could probably guess what I am getting on about. A napper, in my mind, is like a sleeper, except the visual cues are such that you know full well that you are looking at a fast car. The catch is that the uninitiated could still easily underestimate just how fast these next 7 cars really are…

7. Dodge Challenger Hellcat

OK, so the Hellcat isn’t exactly the most subtle car out there. With an air intake going where there should be a left headlight, it’s no secret that it’s not messing around. But with so many Pentastar Challengers pulling out of the Avis parking lots every day, you could almost argue that the Challenger looks somewhat…ordinary. The differences may not be obvious to the average Joe…until they go for a ride. And discover that there have only been 3 road-legal Ferraris ever made with more power. Safe to say, it’s fast enough to initiate what Fruit of the Loom might call a “Code Brown”.

6. Volkswagen Golf GTI Clubsport S

Golf GTIs have been becoming more and more conspicuous over the past few years—it’s no longer the Q-car that it once was. This is especially true of the Clubsport S model, which has plenty of facade to let you know that it’s not a TDI. However, the 2-seat, limited-edition hot hatch has the thighs and calves to go with the running shoes; and then some. With 305 horsepower, it’s more powerful than the Golf R, even though it’s still front-wheel drive. That’s OK though, because it’s the fastest FWD car around the Green Hell.

5. Lotus Elise Cup 250

It seems like the Lotus Elise has been around forever. And we all know Lotus is strictly a sportscar manufacturer (at least right now, anyway). So why does an Elise make the list of nappers? Well, this isn’t any ordinary Elise. That ordinary Elise would produce around 135 horsepower and be good for 0-60 in about six and a half seconds—not bad, but easily eclipsed by the extremely competitive class of hot hatches on the road. The Cup 250 has about 110 more horsepower, courtesy of a supercharger and some engine tuning, plus a boatload of suspension and weight reduction modifications. And semi-slicks. Result? 0-60 takes less than 4 seconds, which is on a completely different level from the stock model.

4. BMW M4 GTS

Let’s get the elephant out of the room. It has a bunch of orange paint and a big wang on the back. And a set of ///M badges. This means that if you know the slightest about BMWs, you could probably guess that this thing is going to be seriously fast. But suppose these not-so-subtle cues meant nothing to you? After all, your bank manager probably drives a 3 or 4-Series, and he’s not exactly Rudi Carraciola. Park it next to a Cayman GT4, or any other Porsche sportscar, for that matter, and the M4 GTS starts to look like a bit of a repmobile. One with nearly 500 horsepower that can do 190 mph and 0-60 in under 4 seconds, albeit, but a repmobile nonetheless.

3. Bentley Continental GTC Supersports ISR

Well, the red stickers, wheel paint, and Alcantara interior probably make the Supersports ISR the least subtle Bentley on the road. But all those on a car that weighs about as much as the U.S. national debt, and is worth nearly as much? You must be joking, right? Nope. Even though it’s a Bentley, these visual modifications are more than just a bespoke configuration ordered by Wayne Rooney. In fact, the “ISR” stands for “ice speed record”, something that this car actually broke. Yes, a Bentley broke a speed record. For all you number geeks out there, this is the big one: 205.48 mph. On ice. With standard road tires. Yup, it’s a napper.

2. Nissan Skyline GT-R

I’m just waiting for all the JDM fans to come out of the woodwork and say “Gary, are you out of your mind? This is friggin Godzilla, how can you say it’s almost a sleeper??!?!?!”

Well, remember, the base model Skyline was little more than a RWD sedan with, in its lowest form as an R32, a 90 bhp engine. Certainly, the Skyline GT-R looks like it would be faster than that. However, if you were to guess before 1988 that it would be smashing the lap record at the Nurburgring, your buddies might be cutting you off from drinking Sapporo for the night. Alas, that’s what the R32 did though, and it became a God amongst men in the JDM sportscar scene. Which isn’t half bad for a performance version of a mainstream, white-goods Nissan.

1. 1968 Dodge Dart L023 "Street Stock"

This one wasn’t even close in my books. In terms of this list, this special Dart beat up, choked, and left the other 6 cars in this list for dead. Much like it did to anything that tried to compete with it on the drag strip. That massive (and massively crude) hood scoop kind of gives away the fact that it’s a muscle car. However, it was also necessary so that Hurst (who built less than 100 road-going versions of these for drag racing) could shove the legendary 426 big-block, cross-ram V8 race engine under the hood.

You could imagine what that did to the performance of the rather ordinary Dart. Power claims have been disputed, but 500 horsepower isn’t an unreasonable guess as to how much power the engine spewed out. In a car as light as the Dart, this was absolutely devastating at the drag strip. From the factory, the L023 Dart could do wheelies. It could also run the quarter mile in less than 11 seconds. That’s right, the mainstream world record for the fastest quarter-mile out of the factory doesn’t belong to a Koenigsegg, a Bugatti, or a McLaren. It belongs to a Dodge Freakin’ Dart that’s nearly 50 years old.