10 Horrifically Ironic Car Names
1. Suzuki Esteem
‘Esteem’? Really?
2. Kia Pride
Kias are great cars these days, but this box of misery from the 90s isn’t something you’d take ‘Pride’ in.
3. Suzuki Swift
Yes, I know there have been fast Suzuki Swifts - you can still buy the Swift Sport, and the older Cultus-related Swifts even had GTI editions - but most are really, really slow. Does 0-60mph in 17.4 seconds sound ‘Swift’ to you?
4. Skoda Rapid
On a similar theme to the Swift, we have the Rapid from Skoda. And with the post powerful putting out a mere 120bhp from a 1.4-litre engine, ‘rapid’ it ain’t. Then there’s the old Rapid, which manages to puff out just 54bhp from its carbureted 1.3-litre engine.
5. Oldsmobile Achieva
As so well put by CTzen CLShifter, this car “achieved nothing bar accelerating the death of Oldsmobile.”
6. Daewoo Racer
The Daewoo Racer is the ironic gift that keeps on giving. It’s another name occasionally given for the ambitiously titled Daewoo ‘Le Mans’, a car which was sometimes called the ‘Heaven’. If this is what heaven looks like, sign me up to hell right now.
OK, so this one’s a brand name and not a model, but still: ‘Brilliance’ was not a word that came to mind when watching the BS6 fold like paper during this 2007 crash test.
8. Mitsubishi Carisma
I genuinely can’t think of a car with less charisma than this.
9. Mini Countryman
The Mini brand as a whole got a lot of mentions on our original community question, but since the whole supermini sector it’s aiming for has gotten rather bloated (just compare a first-gen Ford Fiesta with the current one and you’ll see what I mean), we aren’t going to call the BMW subsidiary out for its mildly ironic use of the word ‘mini’.
However, where it is stretched too far (figuratively and literally) is when the name Mini is applied to the definitely not mini Countryman. And just look at it. Not exactly an oil painting, is it?
10. Hyundai Excel
Here’s a car that doesn’t excel at anything. Other than being dull.
Any more you can think of? Get to the comments!
Growing up on a diet of World Rally Championship highlights and lengthy Gran Turismo 2 sessions, a life in cars was as good as inevitable for Matt.
Comments
Ummm I think you forgot the Skoda Superb. It’s seemingly the opposite of superb according to Jezza
Superb was mentioned a few times, but they’re great cars - that was just a throwaway line from Clarkson years ago!
The new Superb is really a great car in its class.
How ‘bout Ferrari La Ferrari? Which, if you don’t know, translates roughly to,
The Ferrari…
Its only called LaFerrari, not Ferrari LaFerrari
Ironic?
The only thing that the name states is that car is a Ferrari,which is true,and it actually means “THE Ferrari” as to mean this is the definitive Ferrari,which it is,too.
Irony? B*tch where?
For some reason, لا (pronounced as ‘La’) means ‘No’ in Arabic.
So, it means that it’s a ‘Ferrari NoFerrari’. Okay, that’s a horrible pun xP
That’s not the first time they did that.
The FF is another victim.
FF stands for “Ferrari Four”, their 4WD system.
That means the car is actually called Ferrari Ferrari Four.
*The Ferrari The Ferrari
Gijs Dekkers Lel
EXCEL DULL?! UWOTM8
They haven’t seen my mighty Excel then
Never thought I would find you here lol (KanoniBrothers) :P
MINI. Current MINIs are anything but MINI.
They should rename themselves to MAXI :D
I don’t know what is the deal with the comments like “MINI is not MINI anymore blah blah blah.” True, MINI has grown a lot since the first Morris Mini came out a long time ago, but you will also find that almost every car, when compared to their equivalent from 50s or 60s, has got their size boost as well. People now days want their cars to be safer, has more high tech and space to fit their family, well guess what, when you cram all the technology and safety features into a car along with extra space that people want, the car naturally got bigger. A current generation Honda CRV is almost as big as a first generation Honda Pilot. Besides MINI is still considered small in its category, it is eighteen inched shorter than a Volkswagen Golf and nine inches shorter than a Honda Fit. I have no idea why you people consider MINI does not deserve its name.
Number 1 and number 10 are Baleno and Pony in Europe,i don’t know which is worse.
Baleno and Esteem are different cars here. It is really confusing.
The Ferrari 512 BB (Berlinetta Boxer) would come to my mind. It may have the word Boxer in its name to celebrate that it has a 12 cylinder boxer engine under the hood but in reality it hasn’t. That is just a 180° V12.
sooooooo where’s the difference?
The nissan sunny? Don’t know about you, but I only saw ones that looked like they just came out of a heavy storm.
The Nissan Gloomy
Nissan Sunny GTi is a great platform for a proper sleeper.
Do not dare to talk about Sunnys before you’ve driven one (Gti)
The older ones (B12/N13) are quite happy and bright looking too… at least for the time they came out
Or a fire storm. ( The one top gear torched with a dragster)
About the 0-60 on the swift: For which generation & engine is the time? Because mine did it in 12ish seconds with the old 8V 1.3.
1.0-litre model from the 90s, otherwise known as the second-gen Suzuki Cultus
Ahhh… the Carisma.
For those that have none.
Nissan Maxima. cuz why not to call it after most disgusted supermarket franchise who murder and humiliate pepole. (outside Baltic region pepole might not understand irony)