Crossovers: from Best to Average to Worst

I don’t like the crossover trend, and I want everyone reading this to know that. Crossovers tend to be poorly executed, and only good as a corporate-sponsored visual torture technique. What started out as an interesting concept became cheapened to the point of disgust. Nowadays, the average crossover makes a Honda Odyssey or Chevrolet Tahoe seem like a quirky alternative. It makes me long for the days where 90s Explorer Eddie Bauer Edition, an Isuzu Rodeo, or original Jeep Cherokee XJs populated suburbia. Thumbnail base image source: https://flic.kr/p/ijunG1

First of all, I’ll define “crossover”, for the purposes of this list, and explain which ones I’m addressing in this post. A crossover is any vehicle lifted slightly above typical passenger ground clearance, but without SUV ground clearance or suspension components, therefore lacking off-road ability. Crossovers ride on a passenger car derived chassis or one designed similar to a car chassis. Crossovers often evade easy classification, but you tend to know one when you see one. I will include wagon based crossovers, even though they are a subcategory and generally more liked by car people and even certain consumers with actual pocketbooks. I will only address cars currently on the market and sold in the US for this post. This list will address what I consider to be the best, worst, and middle ground of the Crossover world. Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/qsQT8G

Top Pic: Subaru Outback/Crosstrek

The Outback and Crosstrek are not considered by many to be prototypical crossovers, but instead “lifted wagons”. However, “lifted wagons” paved the way for the entire crossover genre. Often original products are better than their derivatives, which rings true in the crossover world. With everybody scrambling to produce a crossover, some have had more development time and dedication to craftsmanship than others. The Outback and it’s little brother, the Crosstrek, look handsome, attain superb off-road ability, achieve solid on-road handling due to low CG and good AWD, seat 4 in relative comfort, sell at an affordable and fair price, and come with Subaru’s reputation of reliability. While many would not classify the Outback and Crosstrek as true crossovers, they beat most of the typical crossovers in almost every meaningful category. Joint rating: 10/10

(Outback)

Image Sources: https://flic.kr/p/czTm5o and https://flic.kr/p/21FMJ1f

Buick Regal TourX

The TourX is another lifted wagon and is listed specifically under crossover on Buick’s website. The TourX directly competes with the Outback, and while it wins in the category of looks, it is unfortunately automatic only and the build quality is a question mark as a GM vehicle. Still, you get 73.5 cubic inches of cargo space with the rear seats folded down, a 250 hp engine, nice luxury options, and standard AWD. If you want an American Outback alternative, this is the way to go. 9.5/10

Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/GWhuno

Ford Flex

Too many consumers are sleeping on the surprisingly brilliant Ford Flex. While not really lifted, the Flex does come with an AWD option and a car-based chassis. It also has 3 rows and the option to spec in a 365 hp EcoBoost V6. I should also mention Ken Block has one, and if it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for any other family. I appreciate the styling, but understandably not everybody desires retro boxy looks. It’s also hampered by a lack of a manual option or a fancy dual clutch to match that awesome Ecoboost power. 8.5/10 Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/512841

The "New" Jeep Cherokee

The new Jeep Cherokee first seemed to be a great sacrilege but observing it’s offroad and an improved fascia after the recent facelift, I am sold on the new Cherokee. If anybody knows how to make capable offroaders in stock form, it’s Jeep. The Jeep Cherokee is perhaps the best crossover for thorough offroad use, which gives it much higher credibility than the rest of the crossovers which are neither good offroad or on-road. I’m not totally in love with the way it looks, but the facelift worked wonders. The Trailhawk is an especially interesting model and I’m glad Jeep hasn’t completely sold out with their crossovers. 8/10 Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/e6o4jk

Range Rover Evoque

If you want a slightly upmarket Jeep Cherokee, I present to you the Range Rover Evoque. Just like Jeep, Land Rover knows how to make a solid offroader and does not often compromise on capabilities. Compromise on offroad capability could risk the reputation of these smaller niche brands in the long term and sacrifice their edge in the market. Even more than the Cherokee, the Evoque is a handsome crossover, perhaps the most handsome crossover ever made. You can also have it as a convertible, which turned out fine unlike the monstrosity called the Nissan Murano Crosscabriolet. Engine options include a 237 hp or 286 hp turbo four-cylinder, but it’s a real shame there is no performance model in 2018, especially considering the Evoque has nimble handling for a capable offroad crossover. 8.5/10

Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/242S6Wg

The Middle Ground

Many of my top pics are not what people think of as typical crossovers, but I’m not a fan of most typical crossovers. So to compensate I will address some crossovers which I do not like but do not find particularly egregious. Don’t expect me to get to all of them, I’m just going to pick noteworthy models. Most crossovers fall into this category of middle ground mediocrity, so there’s plenty of material. Welcome to purgatory, my friends! Image Source: https://pixabay.com/photo-2800863/

GMC Acadia/Terrain

General Motors has been in the crossover game for a long time and helped to redefine the genre, much to my chagrin, away from lifted wagons and towards the bloated wanna-be SUVs invading suburbia. However, at least with the GMC Acadia, General Motors provides a stylish vehicle that can do real work. As a side note, I also like the style of the Terrain but am generally not sold on GM’s compact crossover platform. Getting back to the Acadia, it’s not slow either. It packs a 310 hp V6 that can propel it from 0-60 in 6.2 seconds. Technically AWD is an option, but with a crossover of this size and power, you probably want to tick off that option (especially for the 4,000 lbs. towing V6). It also sports flat folding rear seats, a decent interior, and lots of optional extras, including in-car 4G wifi. What holds the Acadia back, is just that it doesn’t transcend the label of crossover and is still just a lardy vehicle that doesn’t handle very well on-road or offroad. At least I could say this one works as a family hauler, but even then it still only seats 7 max, the same as the aforementioned family hauling Ford Flex. 7/10

Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/DUwVWS

Volkswagen Tiguan Limited (classic Tiguan)

Based loosely on the Golf, the Volkswagen Tiguan limited serves as the littlest brother in the new Volkswagen including a redesigned, larger Tiguan and the new Atlas, a big family hauler SUV. The best achievement of the Tiguan Limited is being a rare compact crossover that is not a complete affront to humanity like a Nissan Juke or Buick Encore (we’ll deal with those two later). In fact, the Tiguan Limited looks premium in style for a fair price, though it could use a minor refresh. However, the Tiguan Limited is only a slightly better than Volkswagen’s very own Golf Alltrack wagon in a select few areas. 6.5/10

Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/sqQvGQ

Ford Explorer

There’s no denying I prefer the original SUV version of the Explorer, but at least this pseudo crossover version is permissible. The Explorer is similar in many ways to the aforementioned Acadia and is the full-sized crossover in the range just before you get to the legitimate SUV in the form of the Expedition. I wish Ford still kept the Explorer as a regular SUV to compete with the Tahoe, but with a new Bronco on the way, I can live with it. The Explorer can also tow 5,000 lbs in top engine level, 1,000 more than the Acadia. Ford’s crossover range is admittedly crowded, with 5 different crossovers if you count the Flex. That’s partially my problem with the Explorer being a crossover. The Edge should really be the big crossover as there is very little reason to make the Explorer into a crossover. I have to give the Ford Explorer a passing grade despite my reservations. 6.5/10 Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/YbM4zv

The Worst Crossovers

So finally we have my least favorite crossovers, the ones that make my blood boil, and the ones that make me wish this trend will end tomorrow. I have a heavy bias against the smaller crossovers, but those ones tend to be the ugliest, least practical, and most hastily developed. At least the Ford Explorer can tow 5,000 pounds and seat seven. The Evoque is a small crossover I like, as it manages to have redeeming qualities of good looks and offroad ability. Also, some of these crossovers would be better off as regular sedans, wagons, and hatchbacks with the minimal ground clearance and fat midsection. I guess it makes sense that even our cars are portly disproportioned monstrosities now. Image Source: https://pixabay.com/photo-2681488/

BMW X4

The BMW X4 is a well-executed automobile, but the whole concept offends me on a deeper level. At least most crossovers have space in the back like a wagon or hatchback. I don’t have anything against a lifted sedan, I love the Subaru SUS and AMC Eagle Sedan, but the X4 looks like BMW fed the 3 series nothing but Big Macs for 3 months straight. On the inside, the rear visibility isn’t great with the thick rear pillars and the fact that the rear window starts low considering the slope of the rear. The X4 is just for posh yuppies who want a luxury sedan that’s a bit taller than a regular sedan. It’s literally designed for people who want to be put up on a pedestal. The X4 is competent, but I can still despise it. 4/10

Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/FSj6jj

Ford Ecosport

The Ford Ecosport is a pointless crossover with a pointless name. Ecosport? That sounds like jargon straight out of modern newspeak! It’s supposed to epitomize economical and sporty transportation just because it’s a tiny crossover with a turbocharged engine? In reality, the Ecosport achieves less than 30 mpg on the highway and it’s not winning any drag races, autocross events, or even going offroad outside of a gravel trail. You know what’s more economical and sporty than an Ecosport? A Ford Fiesta. The Fiesta is no looker, but at least it looks just like a regular hamster and not an overweight hamster on stilts. Instead, they cancel the Fiesta and replace it with this junk. When the crossover bubble pops (when not if) Ford’s going to really have to scramble to bring back their passenger car models. The Ecosport is so small that it makes me question whether the effort spent creating a crossover on the Fiesta platform is worth it. It’s not a charming small SUV like the Suzuki Sidekick or lifted hatchback like the Subaru Crosstrek. What the Ford Ecosport represents is ultimately worse than the actual product. It’s just a worse Fiesta in my opinion. Many brands execute small crossovers worse. 4/10

Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/SriWoj

Chevrolet Trax/Buick Encore

Another small crossover, this one with less overall charm than the Ecosport and more ugliness. This pair is the same car with minor changes so I paired together. Again these cars look like hamsters and have very little practical purpose. It’s hard to put a finger on it, but every time I see one I just don’t like it. It probably has something to do with GM’s general lack of style sense compared to the competition. The Trax and Encore both appear weak and dainty and not in an endearing way. This certainly is not a vehicle for an alpha or somebody with taste in automobiles. They could be uglier and the lift could foreseeably lessen the impact of potholes, but it probably won’t handle hard cornering well or attain real offroad ability. 2.5/10 Image Sources: https://flic.kr/p/eMRxTU and https://flic.kr/p/GewrHA

Toyota C-HR

When I see the CH-R, I see a small dinky crossover that’s trying too hard to be cool. The exterior resembles Darth Vader’s helmet and puts the rear door hinges at a weird spot. The exterior design also creates blind spots the size of Montana. There’s not even much rear storage due to the tapered rear. This is the type of car for those who aren’t really into cars but want something that looks rad for the crowd who unironically regards The Emoji/Minions Movie as a modern Citizen Kane. It’s trying to modern, yet reduces automotive design to a tacky false futuristic style. 2/10

Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/EnzibN

Kia Sportage

The Kia Sportage used to be an average SUV and then an average crossover, but with the 4th generation, they absolutely ruined the looks! Now it’s one of the ugliest, bug looking cars on the road. There’s very little in the ways of actual improvement with the 4th gen Sportage, and that makes sense for a such a forgettable crossover. Crossovers are intentionally designed to look “weird” now to mask their blandness and lack of practical purpose. Head designer Peter Schreyer knows how to make a good looking car, but he has avoided doing that here on purpose. It’s also almost certain Schreyer’s insistence on shoehorning in Kia’s new universal grill design played a role in the 4th gen Sportage’s ugly front fascia. The strange front fascia design may help to shift units, but soon people are going to get tired of ugly crossovers like this. Speaking of ugly, finally, we have an exception to the “only current year crossovers” rule. 2.5/10 Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/EU2kGY

The Nissan Juke: the Ugliest Car in Automotive History

The Juke represents everything wrong with western society. It’s the 21st century, and Nissan had the gall to design and produce a car as useless and as horrible as the Juke, and actually market it. As of 2018 the Juke is no more, which is a positive, but the whole segment of crossovers the Juke helped to inspire still assault my automotive sensibilities. First of all, the Juke is just as ugly, if not more so than the Aztek. Split headlight designs with separate projectors from the daytime running lights and indicators are always bad. The top headlights are too small, and the bottom ones look more like fog lights but are the actual main headlights. The grill is also completely out of place, like an uncomfortably long bar mustache. The Juke even has an oddly shaped body with rear headlights that awkwardly curve to fit the oversized, bulbous rear arches. Visibility suffers just like with the Toyota C-HR. As far as off-roading goes, the Juke has AWD as an option, but this doesn’t mean the Juke can tackle any sort off-road trail that’s not flat and completely dry. There is a Nismo and Nismo RS version with 186 or 215 hp respectively. However, the Nismo costs $24,000 and the Nismo RS starts at $27,000, so you’re better off buying a Subaru WRX with a $27,000 base price or a $24,000 base price Ford Focus ST which handle much better and carry the same amount of people. From the first moment, I saw the Juke I wanted to puke, and nobody else ever seemed to take it seriously either. The first Juke I saw was as a car being given away in a contest, and I pity whoever won that monstrosity. Hopefully, the winner sold it to some poor wretch who deserved it. Someone who committed an obscene crime like punching a baby or running a dogfighting ring. The Nissan Juke: if the Holocaust had wheels. 1/10 (it has wheels)

Image Source: https://flic.kr/p/EU2kGY

I hope this helps to provide a general overview of my opinions on modern crossovers. Maybe I’ll break it down more in-depth some other time, but this list provides my basic thoughts. There were way too many crossovers to review in one post, and I made picks based on specifications, exterior and interior photos, my minimal in real life experience, and online reviews. Strangely, I have never been in many crossovers. I see them everywhere, but it’s a trend that has only recently taken off. Most people I know can not afford a brand new car or bought a new car, but did not prefer a crossover. People still like coupes, sedans, hatchbacks, and wagons, but maybe they’re just not the majority of new car buyers right now. In my opinion, some manufacturers do crossovers right, like Subaru, but other companies are just pumping out poorly conceived vehicles to keep up with the trend. Soon crossovers will probably have a fall off and just become another staple in a range of automobile including SUVs, trucks, sedans, minivans, and etc. #blogpost #crossovers Image Source: https://pixabay.com/photo-2077019/